deleting this soon because i dont want him seeing the post
yesterday my bf showed me something on his phone, i accidentally clicked something and his camera roll pops up, showing screenshots of a naked girl with her legs open. i instantly flipped out, and he told me that he is addicted to porn, doesnt like doing it, has been doing it since before we met and has been trying to stop. he told me its just cause he like “watching ppl fuck” and he disassociates and doesnt rly know when he does it.
today i went to work and thought about it more and it just didnt make sense to me. if ur just watching ppl fuck why screenshot that specific picture? why screenshot at all? if its not that you dont find me attractive why dont you ask me for nudes or anything? weve had a very healthy relationship and sex life the entire time together and this has never happened before. i told him how it didnt make sense and he basically said the same thing. i told him i need closure, so he gave me his phone to go through (i never went through it before now) and went to work.
when i got home after dropping him off i went through everything. no messages, no dating apps, no more screenshots. but then i went through his instagram activity and saw all these videos of just girls thirst traps, and not a single girl even looked remotely close to me at all. i then found several browsers downloaded (firefox, random incognito apps) and there were onlyfans accounts, sex chats, etc.
i feel lied to and betrayed. im supposed to go pick him up in a few hours and i just dont know what to say to him. he told me its just to “watch people fuck” but its all just other girls alone thirst trapping or masturbating. is this a reason i should leave him? he knows my feelings about cheating and stuff because ive told him about past things with my ex, but this isnt like normal porn, and its not something i feel like i can just shrug off. advice please??