I (F 23) made friends with a co-worker (M 22) about a year ago. I slept with him at the beginning because I was confused and thought that any guy wanting to be my friend wants to sleep with me so I got drunk and it happened. It was very much lead by me. After sleeping together a couple of times I decided I didnt want to again, regretted it, me and him became close friends after this. He reassured me he didnt want sex. We agreed to not talk about it again. He also took nude photos of me because I was going to start an OF page but decided not to in the end. It was never weird it was business he never made it seem weird and there was no flirting. I think he is Asexual. He is very unattractive and doesnt get laid. He doesnt seem to care about sex and I know him very well.
We would meet everyday at work and after work and basically were friends we did everything together. No flirting or inappropriate behaviour between us. Just very close friendship. He would give me dating advice, meet my partners whom i was dating at the time etc, no signs of jealousy.
He has been with me through my hardest times and is a fiercely loyal, generous, kind, moral man.
The friendship developed and evolved so much that the initial incidents was a distant memory not even linked to our friendship.
Since then he has moved hours away for university.
I have got a boyfriend of 4 months who I love a lot and he says he wants me to cut this friend off. At the start of the relationship I said if you want me to cut my friend off or think you will get jealous tell me now and we wont continue. He said he is fine with the friendship. Now months down the line he has changed his mind.
He knows what happened and says it’s inappropriate. He trusts me and him wont do anything but he said he cant get the past out his head.
Thing is he is my only real friend and we are very close. I wanted to make a compromise and say I wont text him everyday and I wont meet him when he visits from Uni. He said no I must cut him off completely.
I feel like im abandoning my friend. He has been nothing but pure and good to me. Ive never had a friend like him. We know eachothers family. He is like a brother to me.
Im struggling to see whether this is a fair thing to ask from my boyfriend or if this is controlling and a red flag?