My husband and I are going through an obvious rough patch, and we’ve only been married for 2 years. But over the last year, he’s been increasingly spending more time with his friends and less with me.
His overall demeanor isn’t sour or anything, it’s just that it’s clear that he’d rather be with his friends. He’ll pack his bag when he goes golfing and he’ll spend ALL day on the weekends at the country club, shower/change and then go to dinner/drinks with his guy friends. It’s like what’s the point of being married if you don’t even ***want*** to spend time with your wife? We have a date night planned tonight which is nice, but it’s with another couple. We are ALWAYS with friends. **Always always always.** In his defense, he’s always with his other married friends so it’s not like he’s hanging out with all single friends, but I know for a fact that those married friends he’s with are just trying to escape their kids/wives etc and they’re exhasuted. We don’t have any kids, and our lives at home are very easy. So I don’t understand what he’s running away from. If I try to plan a dinner or activity or something for us to do, he always invites another couple to join us. Every, Single. Time.
I guess I shouldn’t be so negative, but I seriously envy those couples that spend time together 1:1 and it’s enough stimulus for both partners. Like they aren’t chasing their circle of friends, and they’re focused on each other.
***On second thought***, I should’ve seen this coming because even on our wedding weekend, I can’t think of a single time where we were alone together except for when we went to bed. We were out with friends all day and at night, seeing everyone/drinking/bar hopping etc. We didn’t have one moment to ourselves to soak up the wedding bliss. There were always people around and it felt like a constant frat party.
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**EDIT**: More info, because quite a few people are messaging me saying maybe I’m boring and he doesn’t want to sit around at home all day.
**It’s not my responsibility to “entertain” my husband or incentivize him to spend time with his wife.** We have a beautiful home that we could be enjoying together but he’s always gone. We literally have an infinity pool overlooking a golf course. Our whole house is perfectly designed for entertaining. ***I’ve offered several times to have his friends over and I’ll make them a fun snack spread and make them cocktails and he’d rather be at the pub down the street***. This comes down to no matter what options there are, he’d rather be away from home. I appreciate all the helpful tips and will respond as best I can.