Been married for 15 years. Four kids and a small farm. It’s been devolving for years and at this point, she will not touch me in any way without me literally asking for it or coming up to her and getting it.
I’ve communicated clearly on more than one occasion that I need physical contact in order to feel loved. I was clear that I’m not talking about sex. I just want a hug, hand hold, cuddle, something. She says that’s just not who she is. I asked if she could work on it so that I could feel some kind of affection. She said she would but those empty words were a year ago now.
She refuses to see a doctor and get medication for her mood disorder. She refuses to get counseling with me of any kind. Lately, I’ve been trying to flirt with her, compliment her, make her feel sexy and desired. But it’s never reciprocated. I don’t know what else to try and cry almost every day.
I’ve always been worried that I’m one of those stereotypical husbands that doesn’t do enough around the house. So I tend to overdo it. I take care of all farm animal husbandry, remodel projects, household chores like dishes, laundry, cleaning, and all grocery shopping. I don’t know if she resents me at this point or just doesn’t care about me. And I don’t know which one is worse.
What else is left to try?