I’ve (22F) have been struggling with feeling like I can’t be myself around my boyfriend. (21M)
I’m gonna start this off by saying I’m sensitive, highly empathetic, and an overthinker with abandonment issues (in therapy.)
I’ve been with my bf for almost two years. I moved into his family home around 6 months ago. I love him dearly, he’s my best friend. I love living together. We’ve had two big fights/arguments but we rarely have any issues. He’s supportive, compassionate, and a provider. He makes my life easier and brighter.
But one thing that’s always been in my mind is this. I realize it’s most likely a me issue. I’ve just become a hermit in my shell. He gets defensive quickly about disagreements so I usually don’t push it too much, nothing has ever been serious enough to push on. I feel like he doesn’t see me, the depths of my soul. I don’t think he knows how special my favorite songs are to me, my most meaningful memories, or most of the things we keep locked away. Our bedroom feels like it’s only his, all of his previous decorations, nothing about it feels like me. I think that may be apart of it.
Does this mean I don’t trust him? I’ve had two prior relationships that were shitty in their own ways. But I felt like those two people really saw my soul. Saw ME. Any advice or personal stories?
TL;DR: feel like my boyfriend doesn’t see me deeply, abandonment issues, seeking advice on how to open up, comparison to previous relationships.