Hey everyone, I’ve always struggled with being social, meeting new people, making friends etc. For the past 6 months I’ve moved into a van and am travelling around working. When I made this change I also made myself try to be more outgoing and have made some good progress.
I’ve kept a little journal with thoughts and things I want to improve on and here’s a few notes which originally got me headed in the right direction. I don’t claim to be some social expert but it’s what’s helped me.
-First off, take initiative to make plans, who gives a fuck if they say no. I always found even if I got along with someone I’d lose contact almost the second I stop seeing them because I’m waiting for them to invite me somewhere. Invite them instead.
-Secondly, show your true self, you don’t need to show every inch of your mental space but don’t hide behind a fake persona. You’ll come off as insincere and fake and won’t want to hang out with people because you have to act the whole time.
-Third, think less about what your saying, follow the conversation, don’t keep looping back to things you want to talk about if the conversation is naturally going elsewhere.
-Forth, and probably my best tip for creating a conversation, just be interested in them, try to make them talk as much as you can but don’t just drill them with yes, no questions. It’s a conversation not an interrogation. Add something to the conversation and end it with another question or statement about them. I like to come up with something I want to know about the person before hand, for example where their from, what their hobbies are and what they want to do in life, then start talking until you can figure it out.
-Fifth, breathe. If your stressed out and can’t build up the courage to start a conversation with a stranger or ask a difficult question, take a few deep breaths and relax.
You don’t need to be super interesting or anything, just be friendly and respectful, if you pass by someone in the street just say “how’s it goin” and give them a smile, you’d be surprised how many conversations I’ve had and great people I’ve met just by saying this. You don’t need to be friends with everyone, if their open to a conversation that’s really all the entry they need, if their not open to it then you just go on with your day.
Hope these help someone out 🙂