I [26M] have been dating my girlfriend [24F] for 2.5 years now. Over the holidays she went home for a few weeks to visit family/friends (they live far away).
During this visit she asked me if I was okay with her having a boardgame night with some friends. One of these friends is a guy I don’t like, because they have a history. He was in love with her for years (and imo still is) and they were *almost* FWB but she stopped it before it began. Regardless, there was attraction.
I wanted to say no at first because I didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of being around her without me there (in his apartment no less). But I didn’t want to be controlling so I said go for it.
Everything seemed to go fine. The next couple days she was acting weird, telling me she was depressed. One night we somehow got on the topic of conversation that she “doesn’t love me as much” when I’m far away, because she feels distant from me and it’s like I’m just a guy on her phone. I was hurt. She kept avoiding the topic when I brought it up afterwards.
I also found it weird that she seemed super horny while she was there. Sexting me and stuff, something we don’t really do. I had a bad feeling that something was off the whole time she was gone.
SKIP AHEAD to yesterday. She’s been home for a day, we went out to a restaurant, everything seemed normal. We get home and she breaks down, saying she has to tell me something. Instant stomach drop.
She says on the boardgame night she felt really attracted to him. She describes it as she was “pulled” towards him, and making up scenarios of him and her in her head. Apparently nothing happened and she was riddled with guilt for having thoughts like that, so she asked her friend what she should do. The friend says she should tell him (???) and that will make her feel better.
I don’t understand how telling him would help? She says she needed to do it to “move on”, and afterwards she felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. In my head it seems like she wanted to know if he still felt the same so she could make a choice of who she wanted.
She said she felt like it was a “fairytale” story from the friends-to-lovers books she reads, and that made her question if it was fate. She said she felt like she was in a daze and knew deep down it was illogical because she never liked him that way before.
She says she knew she wanted distance from him now, so she told him they were cutting contact.
I don’t understand why she couldn’t just keep it to herself and slowly distance herself on her own. She tells me she never had feelings for him until she saw him that night, and that the feelings are now entirely gone? All of this doesn’t make sense to me, I can’t wrap my mind around it.
It feels like she’s being genuine because she didn’t have to tell me. She cut contact. She felt guilty about it, and I get that people can’t help how they feel. I love her to death and I trust her, but at the same time I can’t shake this gut feeling that something is wrong.
TLDR: My gf went to a party with friends when she was gone for the holidays, and says she was attracted to a guy there that she has history with. She felt guilty about it, and told him about it. She then cut contact, and told me about it when she got home. Something doesn’t feel right.