I was a student in a small friendly college town most of my adulthood and somehow got stuck working construction and home maintenance so people are communicating with me like a dog now. I’m a really nerdy and introverted guy with not much “street smarts”, but I attract a lot of people. I’ll be going into the military soon so really need to learn how to communicate on a more basic level and build trust from a lower level.
Some gestures/body language I’ve noticed from people are:
eye contact:
I literally have no idea how long to keep eye-contact or what to do with my eyes to break contact.
My instinct is just to stare directly into a person’s soul throughout a conversation, but I feel that comes off as a bit intimate or intimidating.
I did this to one of my co-workers and he literally whispered to me to kill myself and it hurt my feelings a bit even though I just had met the guy, but I think he was just teaching me not to be so trusting when meeting someone in a really f’ed up way.
directing attention to their hands during conversation:
I was in an interview and the interviewer kept moving his hands across the table. My eyes naturally followed the movement of his hands and I can tell he was doing it intentionally to track my eyes. What does this mean and why would he do this?
coughing:
I get this a lot. In Ubers, at work. Does this mean someone is trying to initiate conversation or trying to tell me they’re cold-natured? No idea.
throat-clearing:
Someone saying they want to initate conversation?
deep inhale | deep exhale:
Does this mean someone is angry or tense. Or maybe them telling me their warm-natured or hot-headed.
head-scratching | beard-stroking:
This one is the only one I think I’ve caught the hang of. I believe it means a person is trying to communicate they’re thoughtful or a thinker.