As long as I remember she preferred my sister but when I was a child I thought that she likes me too, even if less than her. My mother often lies to me, steals my stuff and money, tries to gossip about me with my sister and other people, when I was younger and told her any of my secrets – she was telling them to her friends and my sister too. She also said that her daughters are her best friends but she obviously meant my sister because she is telling her about every of her troubles (it’s not like I would like her to do that to me because it’s bad, but it’s just what I noticed). She also tells me that she is disappointed with my grades (they are above average) and told me that she will pay my university only if I choose the subject she wants, she lies to people about what I want to study, about what is my boyfriend’s job and overall she has imaginary version of me. She also told me to share the money I get for studying with my sister (I get it from government). She plans to sell my furniture as soon as I move out and renovate my room for my sister (she is 23 years old). She often asks me if my boyfriend doesn’t have enough of me because it’s hard to stand with me (she doesn’t do the same to my sister). She makes fun of my self-harm (I’m only wearing long sleeves because I have self-harm scars (I don’t do it since 3 years) and I don’t want my mother to discover about them but she is sure that I still self-harm and she only founds it funny (my sister had depression in middle school and she paid a lot of money for her therapy and medicines). I don’t know what to think about it, image of me and my mother being friends feels uncomfortable to me but I would like us to have just normal relationship when I can feel like she has negative feelings towards me even if she doesn’t tell it straight to me or even deny it. Am I right that she doesn’t like me and should I just accept it because it can happen for parent not to like their child? + my relationship with my sister is similar like with my mom
TLDR – my mother does things against me, I feel like she doesn’t like me