My wife and I are both in our 40s and have been married 7 years. We got a late start on the marriage plan. We’ve been reasonably happy, with the occasional hiccup and some major issues that we’ve worked on. Recently, she mentioned that she wanted to change her name back to her maiden name.
We talked about names before we got married and I didn’t have a strong opinion on it. I didn’t want to take her name, because that would be socially weird, but I was cool with her keeping her maiden name or us picking a completely new family name. She ended up taking my last name and I thought all was well.
It turns out that it’s never really sat well with her, and she recently mentioned wanting to go back to her maiden name.
While, I didn’t have an issue with her keeping her name at the beginning, now I find myself opposing the idea of her changing it back. It seems disrespectful to do it so late in the game. It also seems regretful, as if she didn’t find me impressive enough to want to keep my name. I recognize there is some insecurity there.
My wife is an accomplished person with many publications under her maiden name. She has a lot of her identity wrapped up in her maiden name, but I can’t help but see it as a rejection of me personally.
My wife would like my blessing before making the change and I’m having a hard time giving it. Am I the only one that would feel this way if it happened to you? How can I see this as something other than a rejection?
My wife is her own person and can do what she wants, and I’m certain the right thing is to give the thumbs up, but I’m having a hard time with it.