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I don’t have an answer, but I have heard plenty of stories from adults who have the same issue.
Older folks (who are insecure) are just as wrongheaded about compliments from the opposite sex as teenagers can be. It just does something funny to their ego, which they can’t resist filling-in with made up backstory (“she would only say *that* if she were interested in me, I know it!”).
So, sadly, anytime you’re dealing with insecure people they tend to over-interpret compliments.
*Edit: Example — https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/uopx0f/being_nice_or_more_then_that/*
Saying a simple genuine compliment, no matter what it is, will always be best, speaking from a male perspective, Males remember compliments they get for years, so a genuine compliment with a nice smile will do! đ
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If you need any more clarification, you can hmu on Discord “@Crucial#7056” I’m more active there than i am here đ
Hope this helps :]
Use the word ‘cool’. It gives off non-flirtatious vibes.
>Jake, that’s a cool beard.
Also don’t make it a big deal. Just leave it at that.
I think it is the tone, I sound very impersonal, no cute body language or smiles, and I never say I find them attractive or hot, I reserve that for someone I am into. Mostly I say things like “You look good’ or something similiar as long as it sounds like an observation than prolonging that thought. And easiest way to give a compliment is to compliment their taste in clothes and then add a, “It looks good on you”, if they are my closest guy friends then I just tell them they look great. Nothing flirtatious there and they know it.
But you know if you wanna compliment someone go ahead and do it, no need to complicate that thought. Guys like to complimented too.
Good luck with that, even just saying âhiâmakes us think itâs on
Just tell them they do a good job at whatever job they did.
>i assume older folks wouldn’t see normal compliments as flirting
You’d be surprised.
Try mentioning a boyfriend if you have one or if you don’t know the guy very well. “Nice cologne, I may recommend it to my bf”, etc.
Signaling that you’re in a relationship (even if you’re not) is one way to get guys to back off, but even this doesn’t always work.
There is a 99% chance every dude is gonna think you are interested in them if you give them any form of compliment
Compliments are complicatedâthere is no such thing as ânormal compliments.â First, unless youâre in a relationship with someone, you should not be openly judging their appearance. You have no idea what their lives are like and what triggers you may be touching. Plus, thatâs just rude. Second, itâs better to compliment personality traits (Iâm inspired by your courage, I admire your honesty, etc), choices theyâve made (I love the way those shoes go with that jacket, the color of that shirt really sets off your eyes, etc), or things they can do (I love what you did with the harmony in that song, adding that spice to this recipe was genius, etc). Finally, youâre assumption about âolder folksâ is inaccurate.
âWow you smell a lot better than I expected you wouldâ.
Just kidding. Backhanded compliments can be kinda funny if you have a good rapport with them
This has been studied. Men are so bad at guessing if itâs a genuine compliment or flirtingâŠthey are literally worse than 50% at making that guess. Literally, flipping a coin would be a more accurate way to judge if someone is flirting or just a compliment.
As a man, I get mayyybe 1 compliment every 5 years. I can literally name them off. Men getting compliments is incredibly rare.
Just say “man” or “bro” at the end of the compliment. They’ll get the idea