I am 23M She is 21F. She was the one who was crazy into me back in July 2023. I am quite a shy guy and made no real advancements and she was the one who told me she wanted us to be a thing, that she liked me, etc. She was crazy into me and she made that very apparent, which I appreciated.
We talked everyday in July-September and by October she was begging me to be her boyfriend. Tbh I think it was just the illusion of her being so so crazy into me and the façade that I could never lose her, so I did not want to and said let’s not rush it at first and no I don’t want to date yet. (She would text me things like “There isn’t a second of the day where I am not thinking about you, I see us together long term forever, etc”). In October I thought she was just being a little to upfront and and rushed (At this point we have probably only hung out 5-6 times because she lives an hour away but we facetimed and talked everyday).
We let the relationship just progress as is and by mid December she let me know she did not have feelings for me anymore, even though literally every single night she would mention how much she liked me, how she couldn’t wait to date etc. Once I guess the illusion that I had her forever and always there was over, I instantly started liking her so much and wanted things to work out. I told her ok its fine if you do not like me anymore, lets just break it off. 2 days later she texted me saying please forget that convo of her not liking me ever happened she regretted it all and wants to go back to normal. I agree.
We were “normal” for like a week in late December then randomly she told me that she did not have feelings for me anymore, again, but was still “crazy crazy into me” and that “I am her husband, just not right now”. That she was not ready to commit. I told her okay I like you a lot too but I am not willing to just be some guy on the sideline and whenever you randomly feel ready you just come back to me and I am always available. I told her no contact was best. Her reaction to that was she cried hysterically said she is not ready for me to leave her life yet, and that again I am her “husband” she is just not ready to commit now. Currently, we just talk every now and then, but I think no contact would be better off as it hurts just talking to her once every 3 days rather than texting 24/7 like we used to.
I know this is a crazy weird scenario and situation, but I guess any thoughts would help. It was also just helpful to vent and type this all out. I really think no contact is the obvious play here, but it sucks to let go. She was my first REAL REAL person I liked and I want to try to hold onto it, even though I know is not healthy or not the move. I guess any thoughts appreciated. Thank you.