Been dating for 7 years. I only had one relationship before him where verbal abuse / body shaming during fights was initiated by my ex and normalized. Because of this I said something horrible to my bf at 17 y/o during a massive fight (few months into dating) and in return he said that he would rather find a girlfriend without saggy b*obs. I initiated the body shaming comment and he has forgiven me and moved on. For years that comment has replayed on my mind each time I look in the mirror, it ruins my self confidence. Im an anxious overthinker, I stare at myself and mull over this comment multiple times a day and convince myself that unless he saw some truth in the comment, even a little bit, he wouldn’t have said it. He would have chosen something else to come at me for. Me and him are compatible in every way, we have the same life goals, same friends, make each other laugh, physical compatibility. If this fight hadn’t happened I would’ve married him in a heartbeat. When im with him, I don’t think if it as much unless I’m changing my top in front of him or wearing something super low cut , I get conscious and feel bad about myself around him then. It’s like that comment took away them being my favorite asset from me. Any advice on what to do? Do you think it’s possible for me to move past it if it’s been years and I haven’t with therapy or something? Or do I need to end this otherwise perfect relationship because of how much this thought bothers me? I’m scared if we break up I’ll never find somebody I’m as attracted to mentally and physically. But if we stay together, what if I’m 40 and having the same thoughts? What if when my b*obs actually sag as I age, I start to mull over this thought all over again? I’m so so lost.
TLDR: had a horrible fight with bf, made a mean body comment because ex used to abuse me so I knew no better, to get back at me bf said he would rather have a gf without saggy breasts. He has apologized multiple times but I think about the comment every day and my brain has convinced me it is true now I feel self conscious around him and replay the thought years after the fight. We are perfect in every other way. Do I stay or breakup?