For context, me and this girl, let’s call her M, have known each other since the Fall of 2019 and had one class together. This class required us to have group activities once a week where I and M would hang out. Our group was small, only 3 people, and I got to know M on a more personal level and we even started texting outside of school and our group.
I honestly thought we had something good going on as she would tell me she enjoyed talking to me and valued the relationship we had together. However, right before the Summer of 2020 let’s say sometime around May M ghosted me.
Fast forward to July of 2021 and M messages me, asking if I still remember her and telling me she is sorry for not getting back to me sooner and how I was doing. Fast forward and we have been talking since then.
Lately, let’s say sometime around September, I have had an on-and-off feeling of cutting M off for several reasons. Since then I have started to distance myself from M but fast forwarding to the holidays she has been in a more talking mood and even this past weekend we spent the whole time talking. There were a lot of things said and I even told her that I had feelings for her and I told her I had to learn to let does feelings go. Some other things were said and she told me to let her know if I needed space or if I wished to not talk to her anymore she would understand and would respect my decision. Saying all this brought back those memories of how I felt when she ghosted me and all the other small things she had said/done. Also, I have asked M to hang out but she always tells me she is down to hang out but always says she is busy when I try to set something up.
Yesterday I told M I didn’t want to talk to her anymore and she said she understood and would respect my decision. I then backtracked and told M maybe I just needed space and told her to give me time to clear my head which she said she understood.
Now we get to today. I don’t know if I messed up. She finally started showing interest and I decided to cut her off. I won’t lie, my feelings for her still linger but everything that has happened is telling me I should just drop this. In short, my brain is telling me to move on while my heart is telling me to give it another go but I already messed up by telling her I don’t want to talk anymore.
Any Advice on what I should do? Should I reach out to her again or leave it as it is?
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TLDR: SHould I reach out to this girl I still have feeling for even after I told her it would be best if we stopped talking or should I move on now that I told her that?