We had grown up together and I trusted them for years. After grad we went separate ways never being romantic in the past. We reconnected and they felt like my soul mate. We had a unbreakable connection. We talked out the biggest points in relationships and lifestyle choices, like kids, marriage, religion etc. We had been on the same page about everything. Every problem was never between us and and it was always us as a team vs the problem. I proposed and we said yes.
Today nothing is the same. I feel like I am with someone new and everyday I am learning that what was said is not what was meant. This is not the person I thought I was proposing to. I have brought it up and I am told that they weren’t lies or deception just not “the full truth”
I’ve carried a broken heart for nearly a year. It is the worst feeling imaginable. It is no metaphor as my heart is in actual pain. It literally feels broken.
Inside my head I think i need a change. My gut is telling me to stay. My heart is too tired for anything. I will not live happily knowing our separation will destroy them. She has already mentioned our separation will crush her.
I am not sure if my heart will mend, or if I will ever feel as good as I used to. To grow up in a rough household, and find someone that genuinely makes a difference in your life by providing you with true happiness, joy and hope to only to have them turn back and break your heart is indescribable.
Lonely and sadness appears to be my future. I can accept that. I still do everything I can to support them and be the best partner I can while feeling this way. Its the promise I made.
I am hopeful that I can start to change my life for the better, and build something to give myself more free time and space. I have a dog to care of and a relationship with my father to grow.
Unfortunately there will always be something missing as I will never have another wife.
2 comments
How long have you been married?
Have you considered marriage counseling and or therapy?
This sounds a little bit like what I’m currently going through. Same kind of background. Met when we were 15. Never was romantic in high school. Dated a little during college, went off our own ways during college to date around and have fun, reconnected not too long after graduation, lived together for like 6 years, had a daughter, got married.
She and I have been fighting a lot recently. I feel like she’s shut me out emotionally in the relationship. I’ve been convinced that she’s having an affair. Whenever I tell her I need more from her emotionally and intimately, it turns into this huge blowout argument. We spent most of her week off Christmas arguing. With our two year old there to witness most of it. I feel so ashamed at the way we’ve been “handling” things that I straight up broke down in tears in front my of daughter the other day. She asked me if I wanted an ice pop and we watched some tv together. Idk if you have kids, but keep the fighting away from them. It makes it much worse.
So anyway. All that fighting and all that yelling has died down, but has not entirely vanished. I think her and I have at least reached a level of understanding about where we stand and why some things are the way we are.
And what would you know? I’m half the problem. My wife pointed out to me things that I’ve been doing that drive her absolutely crazy. It’s driven her to the point where she is so annoyed with me, it’s difficult for her to give me the attention I need to not feel like we’re just roommates with the same child. She puts our daughter to bed at night and doesn’t come out. It’s been going on for the better part of a year. My argument is if she cared enough about how I’m actually feeling she’d have more drive to come out with me at night. And what I’ve learned is that I’m partly to blame for some of it.
There’s usually two sides of every story. And there’s usually fault on both sides. Maybe you need to speak with your wife snd find out if you’re doing anything that might be making her retreat from you. I am almost sure that she’ll have something to say.