This is advice about a relationship between me and my baby sister, and I am so desperate.
I really need some help. I (m24) just got full custody and guardianship of my little sister (f14) about two months ago. Me and my fiancé had to fight to get her, and It’s been a really rough change for my sister, coming from our abusive parents, but for the most part I think she is okay. I’m working on getting her into counseling and comfortable with her new school. The problem is that I’m pretty sure she’s highly uncomfortable talking with me, which is understandable. She likes living with me (obviously, because she begged to come) but being a teenage girl living with your older brother, I can understand.
When she finally got the clearance to come live with me, I went to the store and got her some things like new clothes, school supplies, a backpack, etc, but also hygiene and feminine products. I’m 100% sure that while being forced to live in foster care/with our fucking shitty dad, she wasn’t getting the care she needed.
Well the mistake I made was grossly underestimating how many feminine products she needed, which I admit is ignorant and I should’ve asked my fiancé. However she was at work and I just threw some in the cart, eager to get home to her.
Well yesterday my sister asked me to get her laptop of her backpack and when I did, I saw a bunch of feminine products in a pocket of her bag, all different colors and what seemed like brands. I’m pretty confident that she had ran out of the ones I got her, and instead of asking for more, she has been asking friends at school for more (or getting them from the bathroom at school?) I obviously felt fucking horrible but instead of making a big deal, my fiancé suggested we just get her more and leave them in room, which is what I did. I understand she is probably embarrassed or feels awkward to tell me about these things, or ask for them while we are at the store, and I get that. Honestly it isn’t really comfortable for me either. However my concern is that if she doesn’t want to talk to me about this kind of stuff, what happens if she has something health- related? Would she tell me? Or just let it fester? I don’t want that, I want her to be happy and healthy and comfortable enough to say these things. Also i understand she would be more comfortable talking about this stuff to a girl, but she’s not that comfortable around my fiancé yet. They are trying, but they rarely got to see each other while my sister was in foster care/bouncing around homes, and they’re both kind of the shy type of person lol. I don’t think she would feel comfortable talking to her either, but I’m thinking it’s the best option? I have no fucking idea. Any insight would be helpful. Any dads, please tell me what you did. Any moms, please tell me what I should do.