I grew-up having a parent control my friendships, deciding who I could and couldn’t see. Neither of my parent’s had/have friends. Their relationship with family members has been hot/cold or no-contact. I am deaf and autistic for further complications. It does not help that I am now well into my 30’s.
I have struggled to make, maintain friendships of all kinds. Thankfully, after years of healing I am finally able to see I have simply never been taught even the most basic social things (like the 4 levels of friendship!). I have begun new friendships, a lot slower and so far seem much healthier. I still struggle to put myself out there though. I still feel easily triggered (from hypervigilance) and scared of trusting people. Going to social situations triggers so much anxiety and even panic attacks, despite repeated exposure. In fact, many times I leave feeling more isolated/lonely/ignored. I struggle even making conversations, small talk etc. Trying to use examples and scripts online is hard, I think because of the lack of context. I don’t know what a normal, healthy development of friendship looks like, how acquaintance work or anything. I feel so behind in life.
**With the facts above, what advice/go too resources would you give me? What information have I most likely missed out on? What’s one small thing I could do that would make a huge difference?**