My husband, since Day 1 of knowing him, has been a talker. He will very happily divulge anything you ask him, or will talk about anything. He will talk for hours, sometimes rambling. I’ve seen people get frustrated with him before, because he just goes on and on. I’ve heard him on work phone calls, just talking without a pause, making the same points repeatedly. He’s always been like this and it’s probably the trait in him I find most frustrating. But alas, not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
However, this trait has gotten progressively more intense over the years. He has completely stopped asking other people questions, including me. The other night we were talking about high school memories. He went on and on about various events and people, and literally not once did he ask me any questions about my time in high school. You know, like normal conversational exchange: “I took wood shop and really liked it, did your school have wood shop?” Instead, it was about an hour conversation of him just talking, and me listening. Every once in a while I’d throw in a memory of my own, and he wouldn’t really acknowledge it, or ask about it further. He would continue what he was talking about. It made me realize, everything **everything** my husband knows about me, is because I’ve just randomly told him. He’s never asked.
So yesterday I did an experiment. I’ve been having health issues the last year and am in physical therapy. This is my last month! I came home from my PT session and didn’t say anything. Usually, I come home and tell him how it went. This time, I didn’t. I waited to see if he’d ask. He didn’t. No mention of it. He started talking to me about a new movie coming out. Then later, I asked him if he could bring me my medication (that I have been on since October). He said “where is it, what’s it called?” I said “you don’t know what my medicine is, do you?” Nope, he didn’t. He doesn’t even know what it’s for. It kind of shocked me, we’ve been together 10 years and he doesn’t really know important information about me. I asked him, do you know what I’m allergic to in case of an emergency? He said no. I’m allergic to sulfa medication. I asked him, do you know the name of the condition I was diagnosed with last year? He couldn’t remember the name. I kept asking him questions about other things, who is my best friend I talk to every day that lives in another state? He couldn’t remember her name.
I’ve come to the realization that unless I say things outright like “I am taking ____ medication”, “my PT session went really well!” he simply will not ask. I can’t remember him ever really asking me about anything.
Now I don’t think he’s a bad person. In fact he is a very helpful person who puts his family and friends first, very generous, and funny. But he’s just such a constant talker that he genuinely never inquires about anyone/anything else.
Is anyone married to or know someone like this? What exactly prevents a person from asking other people questions, even simple ones like “what did you do today?”