I’m okay looking, I’m sociable, and can hold a conversation. I’m not just looking for sex, I just want someone to love and be loved in return by a girl that I’m attracted to. I’ve done everything I can to be a kind and respectable person, I’ve ignored toxic manipulative advice from both men and women.
But it’s left me alone. I don’t want to be a manipulative douchebag, I don’t, but it obviously works. And I’m not sure that I can keep just being the appreciated friend over and over and over and over again.
If I could hammer a nail through my hand to escape the loneliness I feel, I would. I’d give up fingers just to have someone love me without having to play all these stupid toxic mind games.
Someone, please tell me that there is light at the end of the tunnel for people who want to be good men.
7 comments
My first relationship was at 25, my first sexual experience at 27, so you’re not alone. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Can’t say much, especially w/o knowing you in person. For the context I am a 39yo ugly virgin male, I partied a lot back in the days, I prefered luxury dance clubs, I have very handsome friends who fucked literally hundreds of attractive girls over the years, thanks to them I know many women. I am successful in my career, highly educated, have really good sense of humor, have fancy hobbies, can afford many very expensive stuffs/hobbies….
My reason is I am only interested in very attractive women, I rejected plenty of below average women from my league or below who approached me over the years. So the first question is are you willing to play in your league or not? Your league primarily defined by your facial attractiveness and financial situation, latter one mostly relevant if you are rich (few milion USD/EUR per year), otherwise not that much.
In other words for me there is light I just don’t care because I am looking for an other light :D. I am fairly sure there is light for you too but you need to be very honest with yourself about a few things.
I promise you, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t lose hope.
do you flirt? don’t forget to do that.
I will give you a hard truth about finding relationships. It’s all about effort and practice. You have to put in the work to get the girls you want. That requires understanding what they want and what will keep them. Sometimes you have to fail a thousand times before you succeed once. It’s problem solving on another level. Remember people lie. So you cannot trust what people tell you. Another thing people won’t tell you is that you put yourself in the friend zone. If you want to date some women, you have to put up boundaries and make rules. If you like a girl, don’t be their friend or make it known that you will work your way up to boyfriend in a certain amount of time. If you don’t reach your goal, move on. Your time is a valuable resource. That means don’t waste it on women who will use you. Last thing. Try and don’t be afraid to fail. You will never get a kiss if you never try. Good luck.
You pigeon holed yourself into some weird delusional fantasy that the first girl/guy you get with is going to be with you forever. Life isn’t a Disney movie. You missed out on how relationships work and hold them to a weird standard. People like this are usually extremely clingy and desperate when they finally get into a relationship. I was like that, but I was 19-20 years old. Good luck
Are u sure the advice u got was toxic? Or just against ur views?
Because you might view it as toxic but it might be the case that both men and women do and want those things to happen.