I’ve struggled with connecting to people most of my life. Whenever I interact with people, I have this feeling that I need to say stuff that makes them happy, that gets a reaction out of them (positive). I think it stems from my upbringing.
I tried saying something disagreeable recently and I felt so scared. I saw the person wasn’t happy anymore. It felt wrong. I was polite about it too.
I know what I’ve been doing is technically manipulative which makes it worse. But it’s so ingrained in me at this point idk if I’ll ever break the habit.