Gentlemen,
I’m getting married real soon. I have a good number of friends and also quite a few close friends. For these friends I have ordained their wedding, been their best man or a groomsmen.
I have issues being vulnerable with…anyone including my closest friends. Among things that they admire about me as a friend, they appreciate that I listen to them and provide empathetic feedback or advice or support.
Many of these friends also complain that I don’t do the same, but I am I’m the boat of (a) I don’t want to burden them and (b) I’m not special.
For these two reasons, I also am choosing not to have any groomsmen. Although I’ve coordinated and planned bachelor parties for friends, I have no interest in any of my friends spending the time or money to do it for me. I don’t want them to feel obligated and I just …. don’t really feel that way about myself — I’m very much into self-reliance and i dont like making a big deal of myself.
My fiancee is asking me to reconsider, and she’s telling me this is unhealthy. I contend that the fact that they are at this small wedding indicates they are special to me, and that they should be relieved that they don’t have any obligations towards me on this day …or in general.
Am I wrong? Is there something that I am not thinking about? Am I stupid?