I (34F) have been in a relationship with my avoidant (46M) boyfriend for about 7 months. We have had a couple issues that we were able to get through amicably and reasonably, and to resolution. It has definitely been challenging for me to “let go” a little, to not worry so much, especially when he doesn’t open up to me sometimes.
What makes it work is that we are both self aware of style and behaviors, and we listen to each other and talk about things if they come up. We have both experienced similar family and relationship trauma, but clearly have learned to cope with it in opposite ways. I don’t press him to talk about certain things if he’s not ready or comfortable to do so (even if I reeeeeaaaalllly want to know in the moment). He has given me more communication where I’ve asked for it. There’s been compromises on both ends.
While we love differently, we love each other very much. Things are going at a nice pace (even though my anxious self wondered at times if it was going too slow, sometimes too fast!?) , and I’m happy with things. When I get anxious I remind myself of our conversations, our quality time, and trust that I can be safe.
Tell me your about experiences of dating someone with opposite attachment styles, how it worked or didn’t work ! Thanks 🙂