Do you maintain eye contact with people the entire time you talk to them?

4 comments

1. I honestly struggled with this as well, and in this aspect body language saved me. Sounds strange – but I was like that where I’d get anxious to look at people in the eye – but I’d start watching body language and forgot about the person and I was able to both keep track of what was being said and look them in the eye.. However like anything it has it’s cons – I started staring at people – the average time of looking at someone in the eyes are 2-3 minutes before looking around (atleast according to my research).. But that’s how I fixed it.

2. No it’s not normal to constantly stare people in the eyes while you talk to them. I suppose it’s a habit that you can learn but occasional eye contact is enough when they’re talking to you. People have varying levels of expectation about this though so I would say don’t let it trouble you, we just use eye contact as a way to show that we are listening, it’s a cultural thing. So if you listen better by looking away then just do it, it’s more important you get the information.

3. Growing up, my dad and I talked a lot but eye contact was not expected. It wasn’t til later in life that I realized that people expect it. I do it with people I don’t know that well and even consciously alternate looking at them and looking away when I should be pausing to think, even when I know what I’m gonna say. It all seems so fake and icky but it makes interactions go smoother and gets them over with sooner.

   I know of a few people who, when I have been too tired to do this whole rigamarole consciously, moved their face to be more in line with mine (to sort of “catch my eye”) and say “What?”, although I know they heard me. These are people who INSIST on eye contact. They’re really why I do the aforementioned charade. Just keep ’em happy and keep it moving lol.

4. Probably not. I try to monitor it, but I panic so hard when I talk to anyone it is difficult to remember to keep track.

   And by “maintain eye contact” I am assuming you mean normal eye contact, not excessive/continuous.