My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. He started taking this drug called SARMs and it’s to help you get bigger in the gym. One of the side effects to lower sex drive. He took it and kept told me that his sex drive was low be of it. Anyways he gets off of it and still says that he doesn’t want to have sex and blames it on the SARMS. this was about 6 months ago.
When we first got together we would have sex all the time. Every day even a few times a day, up until he started taking SARMS. A few months back I confronted him about only following half naked girls on TikTok and I told him it made me feel uncomfortable so he unadded them. Then two days ago I checked his following and saw that he started following a couple of completely naked girls and I confronted him about it. I was so upset. I felt completely disrespected. He then admitted to me that he had a porn addiction.. he said that he watches a lot of porn and he jacks off a lot. He said he jacks off at work and in the bathroom of public places. When he tells me he’s going to “use the bathroom before bed” Just all the time.. I had no clue that he was just jacking off all the time. We were having sex about a month ago and he told me that he didn’t like having sex with me bc “I don’t do enough”. He a lot of the time gets soft half way during sex. I feel like he’s completely desensitized bc of the porn. He told me that he was going to delete TikTok and really work on himself. I can’t imagine it being easy for him to admit that to me I feel like that has to be really embarrassing but I’m still so hurt. He looks at girls that look nothing like me. He told me that I am still very attractive but I still feel like I am so ugly now be of the porn and girls on TikTok that he watches. I always try seducing him and he never wants me. I’m an extremely horny person with a high sex drive and he never wants to have sex with me. I love him so much and I don’t want to leave him but we’re not connecting on an intimate level and I hate it. I feel like even if he says he’s gonna stop watching porn, how am I supposed to know that or trust that? I didn’t even know that he had this addiction for 6 months he’s so freaking good at hiding it. Can someone even get over a porn addiction? Any advice please?