My boyfriend (28m) and I (27f) have been together for 2 years. Over that time I have caught him with laptop backgrounds of half-naked women multiple times (mostly celebrities or other women in lingerie). The first time this happened was early on into our relationship and I immediately told him I did not like it or appreciate it. I have since caught him with similar backgrounds (all different ones) multiple times and have kept telling him that I don’t like it and that I find it disrespectful. Each time he immediately changes the background, but I’ve always felt like he’s just trying to appease me in the moment and is not taking my feelings seriously, as demonstrated by this happening over and over again.
In my view, I find it disrespectful to me that he would parade photos of other women in sexually suggestive clothing or poses around me. It makes me feel terrible and it hurts. I’ve told him that I don’t care what he looks at privately but that I would just not like to see things like that when I’m around. I’m fine with him looking at hot women, watching porn, etc. when he’s alone. I’d just rather not know about it. To me, it feels like he needs eye candy even when I’m around. I’ve even gone as far as to let him take sexy/nude photos of me that he could be using instead but he doesn’t.
I don’t understand why this is so difficult for him. For added context, I’m bisexual and am sexually attracted to women too but have no desire to look at sexy photos of men or women, especially around him.
My question is, how do I communicate that this is a boundary I have, that it hurts when he breaks it, and that I need him to respect that and how I feel? I truly believe that he’s the one for me but I just can’t keep dealing with this over and over again.
For more context: We are very serious about each other and see each other as lifelong partner. We work so well as a couple in just about every way (personality, interests, life goals, values, etc.) except for this. We moved in together last year and have plans to get married, buy a house, and start a family in the next couple years.
TLDR: Boyfriend keeps using photos of half-naked women as his laptop background despite me communicating that I find it disrespectful and would prefer that he keep that stuff private.