Guys who have watched porn your entire adult lives: how do you fight the expectation that women will be over-the-top lustful, aggressive, and horny?

48 comments

  4. Same way I fight the expectation that some hero will clean up all the crime in my city. I separate fiction from reality and understand the media I consume.

  5. I’ve also watched superhero movies my entire adult life

    It’s like, ridiculously easy to distinguish reality from fiction

  6. I watch porn with the expectations that it’s going to be as realistic as a Bollywood movie.

  7. I remember being afraid of saying “candyman” in the mirror. And then I grew up.

    Porn is like any other movie.

  8. I acknowledge to myself that porn isn’t real life. It’s that simple. Men and women in porn are putting on a performance, in the same way that actors/actresses put on performances on camera/stage. The real world doesn’t, and (probably) never will work that way.

    Do I want pornstar sex from time to time? Yeah I do. Do I get it when we’re both in the mood? Yeah I do. But I don’t need or even want it all the time and if you do, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

  9. I don’t have that expectation.

    I watch porn to jerk off. I expect a fantasy setting that will get me there

    I expect women to behave like women. I am looking for intimacy, softness, kindness.

  10. By knowing one is fantasy and lowers expectations accordingly. Some women may be lustful from pent up sexual desires but you should just think of that as the exception and not the rule.

  11. Have you noticed in a lot of Hollywood movies, when one gets hit with a bullet (out of a pistol no less)….the targeted person will go flying across the room due to the impact. That is NOT how it works irl……but it looks cool. It’s stupid and not real. Same with porn. I never saw porn as true reality. Never…..not once.

  12. Why do you assume that woman can’t be lustful and aggressively horny? Women come in all shapes and sizes, all personality types, and everything else under the sun. Woman can be anything. Thats what makes them fun. Same way it makes men fun. We aren’t all the same.

  13. I kinda feel like the emergence of amateur porn sorta pushed that narrative to the side. It’s still there if people want it, but nobody is pigeonholed to watch any one genre these days

  15. Just because I watched Predator doesn’t mean I expect aliens to hunt me for sport.

  18. I try not to warch porn. It’s very unhealthy and feeds to demand for sex trafficking.

  23. Because I’ve actually MET real, bona fide, genuine human women?

  24. Start watching the off the screen actors life, how movies are designed. How to pose for a camera, what is a flattering angle, what is the stuff they use, how long did it take to shoot,

    You will realise that they are as human .

  25. You need to know the difference. Women don’t expect giant cocks, and balls to the wall fucking all night usually. They most likely will have feelings involved, and will want to take it slow and sensual unless told otherwise, or set up beforehand where she tells you to just go HAM. Interact with more women irl, and you won’t be in this predicament.

  26. Because its like reading a fiction book, or watching a fiction show, you separate fiction and reality clearly or else you can easily go down a spiral of mental dissatisfaction. Like how people arent living up to your expectations due to you (not you specifically, just an example) watching fiction shows and setting those expectations onto your loved ones/peers.

  30. Most of it makes me uncomfortable to be honest, realized I get a bit bored with sex unless it’s someone I have a relationship so I’m probably an outlier

  31. Focus on giving them pleasure rather then pleasing yourself and they actually do become over the top lustful, aggressive, and horny. The problem is that men expect them to get into that state as quickly as we load up a porn video.

  32. Man it’s just not my thing in real life. It’s the complete lack of physical touch and intimacy when masturbating that requires something more visually stimulating. It goes over the top for even that in professional porn all the time for me. Whereas when I can feel somebody against me, their breath on me, well I’m already lost in it.

  33. I don’t expect such a thing from any woman at all. That’s why porn and real life are two different things. Porn is porn made for one reason only. Having sex is an entirely different experience.

  34. For one, living in the real world and interacting with women daily. And two, by reading smut and sexual health articles geared to women and written by women.

    It made me realize that porn was mostly focused on representing male fantasies. That women would take control from us and soothe our insecurities by telling us how sexy and awesome we are and how good and big are dicks are. Or showing us by being uncontrollable and fucking us at work, in line or even when societal rules tell them no – because we’re just so damn hot and awesome. The basic fantasies mostly boil down to being called a good boi.

    I do kinda take issue with this question though. When you engage more with women’s fantasies they’ll be pretty damn aggressive, lustful and horny. It just usually doesn’t look like porn.

    Edit: grammar

  35. They’re actresses, they’re performing a role in much the way other non-adult actresses do in regular movies. Recognise this and enjoy it for what it is, don’t expect every woman to conform to one type just because you saw it in a movie. Sure, you may find some women are like pornstars and are hypersexual etc, but take people for who they are, not what you expect them to be.

  36. As a more-often-than-not, over the top, lustful and horny woman, (with the men I date) I can attest to the fact that this, at times, has been met with a slightly more mixed reception than I’d hoped. And I’m not faking orgasms here, or being more vocal than is usual. So it’s not like that. I’m just generally pretty appreciative and enthusiastic. Astonishingly, some men don’t make a sound, no matter how much they’re enjoying being with you.

  37. Well, a lot of women are like that, but I have to be the guy they are wanting to be like that with. I’m not entitled to anyone’s affection, sexual or otherwise.

  38. If you’re actually struggling with this, all you have to do is watch one or two interviews with a former pornstar. They speak about it like it’s a regular 9 to 5.

  40. I have not encountered such problem honestly. I used to watch a ton maybe in my teenage but it just started lookking so fake. Whenever I watch it now its usually homemades and amatuer couples which seems more natural. Secondly, I like to dominate so I usually kinda keep em under check haha😂

  41. Well, since I’m a reasonable, well-adjusted adult I don’t let porn influence how I expect people in the real world to behave. So it’s really pretty simple.

  43. Bear in mind that it’s all fictional? It’s literally a “movie”

  44. I’ve only ever been into masturbation porn, and when I see the hardcore stuff it Weirds me out/can be kinda disturbing. So my porn preferences haven’t really influenced me to think they’ll be aggressive like that. But over the top horny/back to back to back orgasms? I suppose that’s portrayed. I just know that’s not how sex really ends up working. They’re professional orgasmers, we’re just amateurs.

  45. I don’t watch porn where they act like that generally, unless I’m in a specific kind of mood. I don’t find it very realistic, doesn’t get me off typically. I prefer the ones with incredibly stupid, unbelievable storylines 🤣 like “I’m mad at my roommate because they don’t clean so I guess the answer is to angrily fuck them” I find it doesn’t fuck with my realistic expectations that way too

  46. You apply the same rules to all media. You take it with a grain of salt and just accept that it’s made for entertainment purposes only.

    The reason why women are like that in porn is to get you more engaged in the media. So porn is not real life, as much as you want it to be.

    Doesn’t mean you cannot discuss the things in porn with your partner and talk about certain things that turn you on. Just don’t expect her to see your bulge and make an “UwU what’s this?” Unless she’s doing it ironically , cause let’s be honest. That’s funny shit right there.

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