What are some doubts that you’ve had in a new relationship that turned out to be overthinking?

12 comments

1. My boyfriend and I met on Bumble. It wasn’t until we met in person that the height difference between us really hit me – he has more than a foot on me. And I wondered if it would be too much for things to work (from both my perspective and his). Well, as it turned out, it’s not an issue at all. 😊

   On a more serious note, I wondered if me being relatively inexperienced at dating and relationships would cause problems. But I’ve been open with him (and he with me), and have taken things slowly, and that hasn’t really presented any obstacles either. 😊

2. If he thought i was pretty and hot. I know i’m technically attractive, but i really only feel that way when i’m dressed and wearing makeup, not at home. I also have some serious insecurities with how i look naked. So in the beginning of my relationship i was super afraid that he would be disappointed. I still get shy in certain moments or don’t believe all his compliments but i’ve mostly recognized that my own feelings on the matter don’t reflect how he feels about me at all.

3. With my current boyfriend, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’d always think “this guy is ticking all my boxes, he gets along great with my friends and family, we want the same things, I can’t get enough of him, this is too good to be true and something has to go wrong.”

   It’s been 6 years and that other shoe hasn’t dropped. I’m now pretty sure there’s no other shoe.

4. Id he was attracted to me. Im fat and im not used to Guys being attracted to me. He definetly is

5. That he really wasn’t into porn.

   My previous partner (I suspect) had a porn addiction. Porn is a hard no for me. I just feel like the negatives outweigh the positives.

   Anyhow, I told my current partner that porn use is not something I like or tolerate (but also to be open and honest if he was struggling at giving up and we could work on it or go our separate ways if need be).

   He told me he wasn’t that into it anyway. And he dropped it.

   For a long time, I wondered if he was just hiding it. How could he give it up so easy when my ex could not? Was he just good at hiding it? But now that we basically live together, and I see his social media/phone habits–he just isn’t into porn, thrist traps, insta-hoes, or anything surrounding porn.

   He has explained thoroughly to me why porn just doesn’t cut it for him, and honestly I believe him. He had a crazy life event that kind of made porn a turn of too. I think he kinda liked that I wasn’t about it lol.

   Our sex life is great, and I think that’s a big part of it. We guard our desires and aim them at our relationship and our sexual bond. It’s pretty awesome and has healed my soul 🖤

   So yeah, I don’t overthink about that anymore

6. That he was only using me as a placeholder for a better relationship. It had been two years and the topic of marriage was something he hadn’t really thought about. I assumed he had found a flaw in me that made him question if I was the right girlfriend for him. Turns out that he felt that he was too poor for me and needed to save up money so we can both have a comfortable life. He wanted to make sure he could provide for me and get me the best engagement ring possible.

7. Not new but overhintj abojt a relationshop if u see ur partner taking advantage of you because of your insecurities !!
   In the initial years the guy I was dating knew that the relationshop was my weakness and when he knew I was totally involved he started using my weakness against me , ounshing me on different occasions by ghosting me ! Breakup threat was a norm and convienebt as him coming to see me next day on my country but a day before that telling me that he wants to breakup and if dare call him back next morning he will block me because he wants to brekaip at any cost and next day he flew to my country while I was totally devastated with his statements!

   He knew the relationship was my weakness so breakup threat was so regular, every 7 days I would be insukted and given a breakup threat! Because he knew it was my weakness and what better way to hurt me thn this !

   Like imagine if losing money is ur weakness and someone tells u everyday to scare you that yoj will lose all ur money? Or let’s say u feel very attached to ur grandchild and someone tells u every day that ur grandchild will be taken away from u! The anxiety it would cause in ur body, the pain! That relationshop was my biggest weakness along with a lot of other things! But one by one I killed evry weakness so that he stops using it against me !

   Day before I broke my weakness of being wanting to see his pics, I tolf myself it’s just picw why do I even want to see it anr thn ended up deleting all his pics from my hard disl! But it’s very painful

   And not anyonelse my partner did that to me, a relationshop which was so close to my heart which he could have taken as a pride that my girl fears losing me or us, he used ir against me to scare me and recently I stopped getting scared and accepted it!

   So just make sure u don’t allow ur partner to use ur weaknesses against u !

8. He kept bumping into me. He was a foot taller and maybe 100 lbs heavier so it was often enough to almost knock me over. A few times he did it after we’d had a minor argument and I was anxious it might be an early sign he could hit me if pushed.

   Yeah, no, turned out the dude was legit that inattentive to his surroundings. He ran into lots of stationary objects as well as other short people when he wasn’t actively watching where he was going.

9. I was overthinking why my partner was liking all these women’s posts, especially with thirst-trap selfies. They’re all going 20 year olds and he’s just in his 30s. It was because I was insecure and compared myself. But apparently he just mindlessly scrolls and doesn’t think too much of it. It’s not that deep. I wonder if this is the same for most men.

10. When I first met my boyfriend I thought everything was too good to be true. I thought there had to be something going on behind the scenes, that there wasn’t any way he could be so perfect in all aspects. It took a long time for me to get out of that mind frame, all of my previous relationships just confirmed those thoughts so I thought it would be the same with him. I used those thoughts as a way of protecting myself from getting hurt, but he continued to prove me wrong and really fought hard to be with me. Now I’m way past all of that

11. I had tons of doubts at the beginning of my last relationship and I wrote them all off as me “overthinking.” 2 years later, I had to break up with him, his behaviour was damaging and I wish I’d listened to my gut. Be wary of not gaslighting yourself into thinking everything’s fine when it isn’t….even if it’s just not fine for you, that’s ok <3

12. One of my exes was quite promiscuous before meeting me. As someone who is pretty much against hook-up culture, and who had major jealousy issues (that I already overcame for the most part), I kept expecting for him to cheat on me. He didn’t. Well at least I never found out (he might have done it towards the end but that’s not the point and not the reason why we broke up 5 years later).