Dealing with nosy people

5 comments

1. First let me preface by saying I’m a white male so I don’t have any experience with your feelings. What I can offer is a little perspective from my side.

   I bet the question is often well intentioned. I fashion myself a curious person. I like to learn in general and especially right from the source. The culture, the landscape, the things to do in a place or of a people. For instance, if you were Hawaiian, I’d love to learn about the food! Admittedly, I might ask this before I know you well enough for you to share w me.

   So my hope is that when I ask a genuinely well intentioned question in the wrong manner that people aren’t offended and maybe offer advice on how to phrase the question more appropriately. Tell me how I can express my interest in you in a better light.

   I’ve ask people “do you mind telling me about your heritage?” Is this better way to ask?

   How should someone better phrase “where are you from?”

2. stop running away from ehat ur feeling, ask yourself why you feel that way…

   julienhimself on youtube.

   running away will make it worse

3. I don’t know why people ask the most unhinged things. I’m white and would never ask someone a question like that. It’s none of their businesses. Like I could see if you were going to college and someone was like oh where are you from because they probably just want to know if you’re instate or out of state and trying to learn more about you. But if it’s based on race then that’s just weird.

4. You don’t. You tell them that you are biracial. If you don’t want to answer then don’t. I personally don’t see whats the issue here and unless there’s some underlying issues here like them being potentially racist towards you, you shouldn’t have an issue either.

5. Acceptance as well as preempted responses.

   I’m white and hispanic. I was raised by my hispanic parent, but I am extremely white. People from Mexico look at my last name and always ask if I’m hispanic. It’s not a stereotypical hispanic last name. Or just things that I talk about hint them off. There’s also that despite only speaking a little bit of spanish(Whatever you can talk to a kindergartener about, is what you can talk to me about), I have an extremely thick Mexican accent in spanish. A clear cut hint that I’m a “native” speaker.

   But, like I said, I’m extremely white. When talking in spanish, latinos gloss over me. They never approach me. They appraoch the native americans who don’t speak spanish though. The american born latinos make fun of me and tell me that there’s no way that my dad is my dad. I’m too white for them.

   But, I take solace in the immigrants who have seen white mexicans and recognize me as hispanic.

   I have blue eyes but black hair. I have high cheek bones and “native” looking eyes. I always get the “What are you?”. And I just respond with “A human being”.

   “No, seriously. What are you?”

   “Damn, you’re rude.”

   If they’re rude, call them out. If you don’t know, your identity then explore it. You’re biracial. You belong to both no matter what anyone else says.

   Sometimes, I don’t even get accepted as white. But, I don’t care what they right winged racists say. It hurts a lot when left leaning people try to correct my racial identity. Since I look like my white mom I just say I’m white. And these douche bags correct me to say I’m white passing.

   Just gotta stand up for yourself and indulge in your culture. It’s yours. No ones gets to gatekeep it from you.