So here’s the situation.
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A month and a half ago or so ago I matched with this guy on Hinge, Jason. Chatted for a few days, thought he was cute, and was enjoying the vibes. It eventually came up that he lived with one of my coworkers, Bill (25M), in addition to knowing several other of my coworkers. At the time, while not his direct boss, I was overseeing/senior to Bill on a project. I ended up deciding that this was probably an issue, and told Jason that we couldn’t go out because of this — as it seemed like a situation that could make Bill uncomfortable. He tried a couple times to change my mind, but did understand where I was coming from.
Fast forward to last week, our company New Years party. Bill brings Jason as his plus one – we pretend we have never met. Anyways, we ended up sitting almost directly across from each other at dinner — and I really enjoyed chatting with him. Not only did I find him interesting and fun to be around, it also was cool to see that a lot of people I know and respect seemed to like him. We were never overtly flirty, but he did touch my lower back in response to a joke or something, I forget why. He also stood very close next to me at certain points of the night, which I’m probably reading into.
Anyways, I’m not even sure if he’d still be interested (I mean, who knows) but I am. I also am no longer overseeing Bill — we work in consulting, and our project got abruptly cancelled. I’m not his permanent boss — I just am one level senior to him at work. There is the chance I could be staffed in a position senior to Bill again, and there also is the chance I will be asked to write a formal project review for Bill for the time we were staffed together . We generally have a pretty social/chill work environment amongst people at our levels, as we’re all in our early to mid 20s. To illustrate — when the incoming analysts started this year, all of us pregamed at someone’s house and then went out to the bars together. At one point all of us rented a cabin and got drunk in Big Bear. That kind of work environment. But, I still don’t want to do something that could get me in trouble/make Bill uncomfortable.
Do you guys think it is a bad decision for me to go out with Jason? If we do – should we ask Bill if he’s cool with it? At what point should we do that — or is it best to keep it a secret unless it becomes serious (really getting ahead of myself with that one)?
I am blanket assuming it would be a bad idea to go over to their house generally. But is dating Jason a problem if we don’t do that?Very curious what your guys’ thoughts are.
TLDR: Is it inappropriate for me to date a junior coworker’s roommate?
1 comment
As long as you’re not his direct boss I really don’t see the problem. Not with going over to his house either. Like… Your coworkers are people too and it’s okay to get to know them outside of work. It’s only a bad idea if you’re in a power dynamic (like deciding over his performance or whatever) where it could muddy the waters.
And no, bill is not anyone’s mom and does not get to have an opinion on who his roommate is dating.
I say stop overthinking it and just go on this date. Maybe you don’t even like the guy that much lol.