Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/PhYImkDB6O
Yeah, divorce is the only option here. I went to the hotel she’s staying at wanting full transparency and other huge secrets I may want to know about to see if I could stay. She was adamant that there were no more secrets, but the full story she gave me will never leave my mind.
1. She was “possibly” attracted to him before he came onto her, claiming that he looked exactly like his father (her sister’s ex) who she used to be in love with
2. While she maintains that she never initiated it, she definitely enjoyed it
3. He was a virgin and she enjoyed “showing him the ropes”
4. Her sister caught them 3 months in cut her off. They continued for 3 more months before the guilt finally got her
5. They never used protection of any kind
6. She did everything with him. I *do* mean everything.
I feel slight guilt for having her open up about all of this and then leaving her but yeah, I can’t. I know she had a traumatic upbringing/lots of trauma in her life but this wasn’t done in some dissociative haze. She was an active participant. I thanked her for being so forthcoming with me left. If I didn’t ask for the full story, I might have tried to work things out but now I definitely can’t. Curiosity killed the cat. Thank you all for your support and superb advice. I’m upset that my marriage is ending but I can’t live a lie.