Hello reddit
Two weeks ago, my wife Jill (fake name obviously) confessed to me she had an affair. That came out of the blue and I didn’t suspect anything.
I came home and she was sitting in the living room, smoking in silence. She said we needed to talk, that I was free to hate her but she loved me and only me.
I thought she had done something dumb, lost something, scratched the car, etc. Instead she just said she had sex with someone else for a month. She had an affair in November, ended it in December, could have kept it under wraps but felt the guilt and decided I had to know the truth. She showed me she had blocked the guy on everything and that in their chats her only mention of me was positive and that she knew she was doing something wrong.
Now, the details of the affair aren’t important, it’s just that it happened that shocked me.
Jill is someone whom I always respected for her high morals, her strong sense of right and wrong – her motto is, the world being a shitty place is no excuse to be a shitty person, you have to do and be better.
But this time, she didn’t have the strenght or will to be better.
At first I didn’t completely realize the extent of the situation, I even consoled her that we could fix this if she was genuinely regretful.
But then it hit me: I never got angry, but one of us had to be out for a while. She went to her sister’s place.
We agreed that only my parents and her sister (they have no living parents) know the truth. Jill got her dose of flak, but there’s just immense sadness on everyone’s part.
I’m alone in this big apartment, sleeping in a bed too big for me. Jill, according to her sister, spenda her day in bed and barely eats. We chat a bit but still haven’t met after she moved out.
She says she’ll accept any decision I might take, she wants to fight for our marriage but won’t oppose a divorce if I’m done with her.
I haven’t done anything yet, never contacted a lawyer. I just feel empty and sad that I lost my wife and best friend like that.
I want to try and forgive, if I can. But I don’t know what to do.
The only anger I feel is that if she just kept her mouth shut and didn’t confess anything, we wouldn’t be in this mess.