Do you feel you’ve accomplished more, more motivated, or more ambitious when you were single versus when you were in a relationship or vise versa?

6 comments

1. Definitely got more shit done and was a lot more dialed in when I was single.
   Edit: sorry I just realized this was ask men

2. I definitely feel I can be more focused on what I want to do and in turn accomplish more when single. That being said I don’t think it’s a question of motivation, just the available time in a day, and a relationships need A LOT of time invested. Even with a supportive partner it’s hard to not feel guilty or selfish when it comes to focusing on accomplishing something so you tend to compromise for the sake of relationships. Then again, I don’t think that’s a male thing, that’s just sorta part of the gig when it comes to relationships. You’re adding in a big commitment; something is going to slide as a result.

3. I absolutely crush it at everything I do when I’m single. In a relationship I’m really loyal to that person and it’s hard for me to use that one hundred percent on ambition when I’m also putting time and effort into someone. It’s more about available time than ambition.

4. Nah, i just mess up either way.

5. No not really. I’m more motivated by the idea of giving myself and my wife a better life. WHilst single I just felt pretty worthless and depressed. I’d much more likely to push myself to make my families life better than I ever am when I’m on my own

6. Woman here. My motivation/energy levels in order from highest to lowest:

   1. In a good relationship
   2. Single but crushing hard on someone
   3. Single
   10. In a bad relationship.

   Basically, when I’m in a good relationship, I feel like I can do anything. When I’m single, I cruise along on my default setting.

   When my relationship’s bad, I tend to focus all my energy on trying to make it good again and doubt myself in other areas of my life too.

   I’ve been told I’m extrinsically motivated, but the truth is I have ADHD, so my ability to focus depends on having opportunities to chase dopamine.