I have this friend and it’s been months since we’ve seen each other. There’s been times in my life where this has happened and then the night ends up being very uneventful. Usually I never hear from this person again.
It’s like we both expect this grand reunion and everything must be perfect. Then we part ways and we realize we’re different people now and I never hear from them again.
I’m very quiet and reserved, it’s hard for me to express myself and open up. I’m terrible at small talk. I have nothing going on in my life. I’m boring. We’re both looking forward to seeing each other and excited and this is stressing me out even more!!!
What should I talk about with them? I need topics and ideas. How do I be more human/normal lol???
Obviously this person already likes me for who I’ve been, but I feel like as time goes on I need to open up more so that the relationship can grow.
I tell myself I’m fine with my loneliness but the truth is I just crave a genuine and deep human relationship. I always fuck things up though. I really like this person. I’ve never met someone like them.
I just know I’m gonna blow this like I always do. I’m just sick of these negative thoughts and self talk. Am I the only one who feels this way?