The other day my girlfriend told me she thinks we should have a threesome (MFF). This isn’t the issue I agreed of course. We just aren’t sure who or how to ask. Would it be best to search online for someone online or ask one of our female friends? We don’t want things to be awkward or ruin friendships but also want someone trustworthy. Any tips that could help reach a decision?
tldr: GF and I want a threesome but don’t know if we should get some stranger or a friend. Tips?
34 comments
Does she have a step mom? That’s usually how these things work out
Try a dating app. Using a friend will not end well. Hell, the 3some itself may cause issues but that’s another story.
Not gonna end well for anyone involved but ya’ll are 20 something and you’ll learn
I agree, use a dating app or find a FSSW. Some of them have experience with this, and with first times in general.
I wouldn’t use anything online you might end up with a weirdo, I think it’s best to go out together and meet people and then break the news to them casually and see if they would be in, laugh it off if not and continue enjoying the night.
Do not go with a friend. There can be some awkward moments afterwards. Moments of insecurity if bf likes friend more, etc…. Already there was another story on here with a couple that included a friend they trusted. Turns out, the friend got pregnant from the threesome. She had liked the bf (suggesting she lied about her BC and baby-trapped him) and insisted on keeping the baby.
If you use a stranger, make sure she’s tested and use protection regardless of what she says. If you use a friend, same thing…use protection no matter what.
Threesome can be fun and exciting in a relationship.
But they usually end up being like thunderdome.
As someone who lives the lifestyle, meet a stranger. Use tinder. If it goes bad you don’t ever have to see them again. If it goes good then well maybe y’all just made a new long term friend/gf.
P.S. if you have questions feel free to DM me. My wife and I have been doing this and all other kinds of threesomes, foursomes, swaps, etc… for awhile.
You’re reading all these comments and seeing many people telling you that this will not end well… pay attention. These things usually do not end well. Lol
Don’t have a threesome. As soon as you bring other people into the relationship it’s over.
People watch way too much porn these days.
Use a dating app. Try Feeld
NO friends…. never ends well.
There are sites and apps for this. You’ll likely see quite a few suggested throughout your thread.
Just be careful and choose well.
I’m assuming she’s Bi (?) if you are looking into a MFF encounter.
Like 20 years ago, my gf at the time and I wanted to have a threesome .. she was going to ask a coworker; but before she could, the coworker tells her that shes not feeling great, she’s having a herpes outbreak… all desires to have a threesome left our beings haha
As some others have said, it is probably best not to have friends involved. I made that mistake with my ex. We asked a mutual friend who we had know for 10 years, because I wanted someone I could feel “safe” with. It ended up running my relationship with both of them. My ex because of his jealousy and my friend because he started overstepping boundaries, etc. It was a bad experience for me, and messy.
Not saying that every experience is like that of course. But I would be VERY cautious if you do decide to go the friend route.
An escort is honestly your safest drama free option.
DO NOT have a 3some with a mutual friend. It seems like the safe way to go but things normally end up awkward and awful for all parties. A dating site would likely be your best option. Also, keep in mind that your gf may expect you to return the favor with a MMF 3some. Don’t open Pandora’s box unless you’re prepared to deal with both scenarios.
Someone neutral you don’t know or couldn’t form/have attachment to already is the best bet. Dating apps most likely best bet.
Don’t do it. She either is so insecure she thinks letting you bring another woman to the bed with y’all will keep you from looking outside the relationship or she is looking for excuse to cheat. You’re young bro, invest your time into something or someone more worth your while.
I had a foursome with my boyfriend one night and we spent months trying to find someone suitable that we could both agree on but it’s has to happen organically we found a couple out one night for a friends birthday and it just happened 🤷🏽♀️ maybe try going out together and like both hitting on someone that looks single or have one of you hit on someone and ask them one on one
Maybe you can join one of those sex clubs. Having a female partner already makes it a lot easier to join.
That way you have people that are already vetted and you don’t know each other so it can’t get messy. Also they have security in case the new girl is clingy or gets weird. Don’t bang a friend I’ve never seen that work out.
There are a lot of people projecting their own insecurities in here. If you and your gf are both ok with it, have fun. But I wouldn’t suggest a friend. Find a sex worker you are both attracted to. When it’s over you won’t have to contact them again.
Ask your sister to join you gotta keep it in the family
Got the feeling this will not end well.
Threesomes can be great fun when you DO NOT EVER INVOLVE THE SAME PERSON ESPECIALLY A FRIEND. I’ve worked in sex clubs and personally know a lot of kinky people. The one way shit always hits the fan is when inexperienced people bring in someone who they then see again or have more sex with. There is always jealousy when whoever y’all had sex with stays in the mix. However you also have to consider the feelings/ consent of the other person. Like make sure they won’t feel ditched if you let them know you’ll never be seeing each other again.
My girlfriend and I find local Reddit pages, with like minded people. It takes time though. For every 1 female in those pages there’s 10 guys, who will definitely offer. But it’s good that it’ll take time, because that’s a big step. My girlfriend and I thought it over for a year before we finally pulled the trigger. You have to be very stable in your relationship.
Update us after this all blows up.
But are you ready and willing for MFM because thats how it begins?
I’d just pay an escort or a hooker to be the 3rd. Just get a clean one
>This isn’t the issue I agreed of course.
lol
Please don’t go through with this 🤦♀️ Think about what Your Mother or future children would think.
OP, don’t go with a friend that can go wrong too easily, but damn too many people here are super prejudice against ethical non-monogamy and aren’t worth listening to, you should 100% be careful about it, go with someone you probably wont talk to again, discuss with your gf what’ll happen if either of you get attached to the third (if you’d want a polyam relationship, to break up, or just have an open relationship) do your research with people who actually actively practice ethical non-monogamy, ect
oh an protection, 100% be safe as possible, condoms, birth control, even make sure to bring dental dams
Definitely let your girlfriend do the talking/approaching. It’ll seem creepy coming from you.
I’ve been a third before, we met on tinder I believe. But I would recommend another app like Feeld because I’d say meeting someone one tinder for a threesome is rare.
Going for a mutual friend is a bad idea in my opinion, it most likely will end up messy and someone (or everyone) will end up getting their feelings hurt.
In my case the couple had been together 8 years, they were very open and honest. We matched, talked for a month, went on a few “dates” before we eventually had sex. This was a little over three years ago and we’re still friends!
I think if anything it’s best to meet someone new, get to know them and then decide if that’s someone you trust enough.
I think the biggest factor in this threesome being so chill was that 1) this was a well established couple who had clear boundaries, open communication, were respectful and knew what they were getting into 2) I was a respectful third person.
I think bringing in the wrong person can lead to a disaster, they should be someone you can see yourself being friends with but not someone who is already in your social circle.