tl;dr how do you possibly figure out how to make it work or if you even want to ?
This is going to be long. Sorry.
I met my now husband when I was 21 ,I was in school and working two jobs. He was older than me he had a child from a previous short lived relationship. He was kind to mce and continued to try to get my attention. Over time it worked. I had only previously had 2 relationships, an on again off again relationship and a high school boyfriend. So him being a gentlemen I just completely fell for it.
I just feel like we have grown so far apart. It makes me sad but the more I think about it just feels like what I need and want for a partner in life is just everything he is not.
He basically stopped working during the pandemic. Lost almost all of his clients because of it. He barely contributes financially at this point and I pay everything am in charge of everything.
He’s also become completely paranoid with a lot of things and I’ve had to adjust the way we live because of it. No one is allowed to wear perfume or use hairspray, he thinks it’s going to affect his skin as he had a previous allergic reaction. No one can touch his pillowcases he puts his pillows away in the closet because of it I can’t cuddle with him because my hair will touch his pillow and I use hair products. I have to wash his clothes separately. I’m not allowed to file my nails inside the house. I’m not allowed to use wooden cooking utensils.( he threw out an entire meal prep angry I used a wooden spoon to stir . He didn’t want splinters in our food ) He will only use one kind of soap and it can’t touch anything else or he’ll throw the whole bar away. He constantly throws out towels and says we need new ones.
We have one child together who is now a toddler. when she was born she had some breathing issues and no one was obviously sleeping and I know that’s just newborns in general. When we got home from the hospital he told me he couldn’t do it and went right to bed and slept 12 hours while I just powered on through trying to learn how to have a newborn. When she was a month old he left for a week to go golfing and stayed a hotel because he couldn’t handle it. I don’t think I’ve been able to forgive that.
He’s extremely lazy in the sense of he would let the yard get so terrible and it would cause a fight that we moved to a house with an HOA so he doesn’t have to do yard work. Now he does even less! we’ve been yelled at from the HOA for leaving the trash bin out or leaving the trash on the porch because he left the trash bin out. Also have been fined because he doesn’t pick up after the dog which are the only two household tasks that are his responsibility.
I left with our toddler to stay at my parents for a short time because I felt like I no longer wanted to be apart of the relationship. He begged me to come back and he would do it all. It’s gotten slightly better but it’s still not awesome and I’m trying to give it time to adjust but I just don’t feel like it’s enough.
Tl;dr I feel like that sounds terrible. I just feel stuck.