First of all, this is a social skills question, a question of being friends.
Male. Europe.
I went to a cafe and sat at the work table, after a while a girl sat next to me. She asked a few questions, she seemed eager to talk, so I tried to chat with her. We had a good conversation (she mentioned that she had a boyfriend at some point, but it was not a forced mention).
At times she talked about having a lot of anxiety and her own problems. I thought “maybe she is using me to relax in this environment, that’s why she is talking to me”, because she was in a higher league than me. Maybe her doctor advised her to “go and talk to strangers, get comfortable”. She even told me about her psychologist. Even when I didn’t talk and said “anyway, you study”, she said “no, talk, talk, class is boring anyway, I need to distract myself”.
At one point she was going to go outside for a cigarette, and even though I didn’t smoke, I said, “Let’s continue talking while you smoke.” We had a pretty good conversation outside. But we were talking about genes, and I inevitably brought up reproduction. Actually, I was trying to be careful not to scare her, but I couldn’t help bringing up reproduction. At one point I said, “We are programmed to reproduce. That’s why we keep saying ‘woman woman’ every day, every day.” Immediately after, she said “I’m getting up” and got up, and when she saw me coming, she said “weren’t you smoking?”. We went in that way, she packed up without even sitting down at the table, I said “are you leaving? You haven’t studied at all”, she said “I have studied a bit. Now my boyfriend is here, so I have to go home.” Then she said, “What’s your name? We talked so much, I don’t know your name.” I told her. I said, “If you come again, we’ll see each other,” and she said, “If I come again, I hope I’ll run into you.”
I mean, imagine that we talked so much and if I was smoking at that moment, when I came in, I would see that she had left without even saying goodbye.
She sat for half an hour in total. And we talked for most of that time. I think she thought I wanted s\*\*. What do you think?
And today. 3-4 weeks have passed. She was at the cafe I always go to, I saw her when I went later. She was getting ready to go out for a cigarette, I waved, she came, I said “come over, we can study together”, she said “well, ugh, I’m going out for a cigarette now”, I said “well, fine, whatever you want”, she said “tomorrow is the exam, I’m studying with headphones”. That’s how she left and came back. We never communicated again, last time she got up and left, she didn’t say “see you” or anything like that.
What do you think? Was our first conversation sincere? Did I lose a -potential- friend because I talked about s\*\*? I thought it was a pretty good conversation. It was the first time I had such a long and nice conversation with someone I didn’t know. But I don’t know her point of view.