For some background: We met on a dating app back in October and started dating in November. We are both the same and age (21) and attend the same university. Objectively speaking, the relationship is progressing very smoothly. We’ve gone on several dates, given gifts to each other, made out, hugged, etc. It’s very obvious that she likes me and enjoys spending time with me. She’s had some small flings in college and HS while this is my first serious relationship. She’s also catholic so she’s pretty conservative when it comes to things like sex and intimacy.
She’s part of a sorority on campus and, as you would guess, is big on partying every weekend. I knew this when I first met her and it never bothered me. Personally, I’ve never been partying because I don’t have many friends and I don’t drink. The other day I was telling her that I’m glad she’s more outgoing and adventurous than I am and she responded saying that she was happy that I wasn’t a frat guy/partier. She also said many times how cute it was to her that I had never been in a relationship before. I asked her to explain what she meant and basically said that frat guys and men who party are trashy. As politely as I could, I asked what that made her if she goes and parties every weekend with her sorority sisters. She laughed and then said “I know what I’m doing, you however…”. She also mentioned later that day that a frat guy she was dating a year ago cheated on her at a big party at the end of school year.
Even though the amount of time we are able to spend together each week is very limited (she’s a stem major and heavily involved in running her sorority), she seems hesitant to invite me to anything where her sorority sisters are involved. I know that she can’t invite me everywhere because I’m a GDI and there’s rules against entering certain greek parties but even stuff being hosted by her friends she won’t invite me. She told me when she showed pics of me to her sorority sisters they heavily criticized me for not being good enough for her. I tried to get my GF to repeat exactly what they said about me, but she adamantly refused. I’m guessing their words were far from kind. She said she didn’t care what they thought about me and how I shouldn’t either. I agreed with her but I hid the fact that I was actually hurt by the story. It’s not that I don’t believe her when she says that she likes me, but just the fact that the people she’s spending most of her time with want her to have nothing to do with me is disheartening. I don’t like the thought that they’ll try to tear us apart or force her to do things without me.
This weekend she’s going to two different parties while I have no plans for the weekend. She said we may be able to do something Saturday until she has to leave for her friend’s party. I didn’t try to voice my disappointment at the fact that she didn’t offer to bring me along. All I said was that I wanted to spend a little more time with her. To be honest, I don’t like the idea that I’m just her daytime entertainment and then when night comes she’ll ditch me to go party. It’s just sad for me because I have no close friends at college and my friends from HS are all out of town for most of the year. During the weekends I mostly just spend time with my parents. I love my parents to death don’t get me wrong, but I can’t help but feel like a huge loser when I’m sitting around by myself while my GF is happy to party without me. It’s even worse when we’ll call the next day and she’ll explain how fun the party was. I’m glad she’s having fun, truly, it just feels sad to me that she doesn’t want me involved with any of it.
I don’t want to control her and force her to spend time with me, I know that won’t get me anywhere, I just wish she was willing to bring me along somewhere. I don’t really care what we do, I just want to see her. I don’t want her to think that I’m embarrassing or not fun to be around. Maybe I’m too clingy but this whole situation gives me major anxiety and it makes me feel horrible. I don’t know how to discuss these feelings with her because I don’t want to be super clingy and off putting.
TL;DR My girlfriend loves the fact that I don’t party but goes out every weekend with her sorority sisters to party with them. The fact that I’m never invited to join her makes me feel very self-conscious and horrible.