so my boyfriend and I were having a weird conversation last night about how we think our group of friends perceive us: I said we are the most sane couple of the group, we look pretty good together, we are balanced, we don’t really have big relationship issues…he said “yeah I’d say we are an 8.5 out of 10”
I tried to understand what he meant and he pointed out that both him and I are an 8.5 out of 10 in terms of looks and so other people probably perceive us like that.
I said, jokingly, who’s a 10 then and he said a 10 is the perfect couple like the most good looking people having the most perfect relationship (he made an example and said Brangelina) so I teased him a bit more and asked who’s a 9 and he said “probably our friends X and Y”
I felt a bit off when he said those names because he has made comments in the past about how the girl in that couple is very pretty, in facts last night he went on and stated that on a purely esthetic level she is prettier than me.
Now me being a sensitive, insecure, with a history of body shame girlie, I felt betrayed: I’ve always wanted a man that’d be obsessed me, who felt like he has won the lottery, I know im not a 10 in a scale from 0 to Angelina Jolie but I would excpect my boyfriend of 4 years to think i’m at least prettier than my friend who we both know and hang out with.
I’ve gained weight recently, my self esteem is low and I am not as confident as I used to be, I have told him about my insecurities before and he’s alwasy said that in his eyes I am beautiful but last night he had to specify that people objectively might not think the same.
I don’t really know how to act now, he asked if I was mad and I said no cause I really am not, this whole voting thing is childish and stupid.
I just feel really weirded out by the fact that out of all people he named that girl. Why is he not with her then? Is he with me just because she wasn’t available? Because he didn’t find anyone better and I just happened to be his least worst opinion?
Any advice on how to deal with this situation is welcome.