I have been married to my wife for 14 years. We have two daughters, 8 and 5. For the first few years we had a good sex life, then it dropped back significantly. She stopped instigating and would decline if I did. When I ask she has several reasons she rotates through. We’re too old, nobody has sex very often, or she’s too big now. She gained a lot of weight and I know it bothers her but I can’t say which came first. She always seems to believe we’ve had sex in the last week or two, even if it’s been six months.
Since the kids were born we have sex 3 or 4 times a year, usually twice around Christmas and once or twice in the spring and fall. It’s the same every time, the way she’s decided it should be. I rub her back and neck, she gives me a couple squeezes and tugs, I go down on her because it’s the fastest and most reliable way for her to have a couple orgasms, then she lays on her back impatiently while I climb on top. It’s not ideal.
This Christmas I got her a small gift she really appreciated. Afterwards when we had Christmas sex she went down on me briefly, which she hadn’t done in years, and asked if there was anything else I wanted. I asked if she’d get on top and wear lingerie, she said it wasn’t that nice a gift, I told her I’d get her two more, she wanted something else instead, and we ended up naming a dollar amount. At the time I really didn’t care that it was weird or might have repercussions. A few days later she mentioned something expensive she wanted to buy, I gave her money for it, and that lead to her cheerfully giving me the first blowjob I’ve had in years. It’s continued happening since then.
Part of me is thrilled. I like that we are having sex, I like that there is variety, and I like that I get input into what we do. I’ve been in a really great mood all year and so has she. On the other hand, it seems like this is probably offensive and insulting. It seems like I’m too close to the situation and am heavily influenced by the fact that I’ve had more sex this year than in the last three combined. Am I being paranoid or is this going to blow up in my face?