12 years ago I started seeing my much older (23 years) partner. I was a single mom, divorced with 3 kids. For several years i would spend weekends at his house and the sex was good, not great, but good. He’s very vanilla, and I like it rough at times, but hes never been able to do that. I accepted it. After 5 years, me and the kids moved in, we’ve now been here 7 years, im in deep, we have dogs, and frankly, i wouldnt be able to afford rent on a place big enough for all of my kids and pets. So im stuck. Since we moved in, sex has basically gone down the drain. I have never been able to get him in the mood. Even a surprise BJ does nothing and i get no reaction from him. Basically, the only time we have sex now, is when he randomly lubes up his dick and shoves it in me when im sleeping. Its rapey, and I hate it. Ive told him to stop and he needs to touch me first and initiate properly, and he just wont. Occasionally he tries to, but i get so annoyed by his attempts that i just get out of bed. For example, the other morning he tried touching my vagina, and he was doing weird shit like tapping on my pee hole, like morse code very lightly. I told him to turn on the light so he could see what he was doing, and he got mad and rolled over. In all these years, he has never even seen my vagina, or kissed me with tongue…. He seems disgusted by it. I dont know why, my hugeine is top notch, and it looks good…nothing funky going on. Ive never had these issues with past partners. Tonight, i managed to give him a boner by rubbing him through his underwear in bed…this literally never happens..but he refuses to respond to me in any way and just laid there on his side like he was sleeping until i got sick of rubbing and rolled away. I dont know what to do anymore. Im in my 40s now and my sex drive is through the roof, but i feel like im 90 and will never get sex again. Im a very attractive woman for my age, and when we’re out and about, he does things like slap my ass and grab my boobs and makes me feel wanted, but when it comes time to go bed, he wants nothing to do with me other than cuddles . I dont know what to do anymore. I need sex, i need to feel like a woman…i need to be touched….i need intimacy in my life….wwyd?