i (20f) have had three sexual partners in the past, two girls and a guy. i really like giving pleasure, because i like it when i can tell the person is feeling good, i have no problems getting wet or getting aroused, and i also don’t have problems cumming on my own. however, i usually don’t like it when the other person tries to reciprocate it, i don’t like it when the other person tries to touch me, because they’re always so damn bad at it i’d rather save myself the disappointment.
i don’t have any sort of past trauma whatsoever, in fact, i would LOVE to be touched, but like, the people i’ve had sex with don’t have a lot of experiences so they’re usually pretty bad at fingering/oral. even the girls i’ve been with. i’ve received tons of compliments from them that i’m very good at oral, that i make them feel really good, and i always make the other person cum. but when they try to touch my body, or try to finger me or go down on me, it always turns me off and i’d rather they just leave me alone and let me make them feel good.
this is frustrating. i don’t do this because i’m a people pleaser or i’m insecure. i’d love to be fucked into oblivion and i know i cum very easily. even if i try to communicate what i like to my partner, i always end up having to guide them with my hand if i want it to not be awful. i don’t like always guiding them with my hands because then i can’t really let go and enjoy it. no one has ever made me cum entirely on their own without me helping them. it’s always been a disappointment with everyone i’ve been with so i’ve just stopped trying to feel good. i can’t say all of this to my partner because of course it’d be way too harsh, so usually when this happens i’m just like “hmm lets do something else!” and i go back to pleasuring them only, because i don’t want to ruin the mood or be mean.
do i just have to put up with this? or keep communicating until it’s actually good? am i the problem???? any advice is helpful. thanks 🙂