So, I’m a 23 year old English teacher and I still feel like I’m mentally stuck in being a 16 year old. I work in this private college and it’s my first time working in an environment like this. Every teacher here act way too relaxed regarding how intense the school’s curriculum is, and they always find a way to avoid the principal or any kind of problems—during my free periods, I sometimes hear some of the teachers literally talk shit about everyone and everything at school in such a careless way that I immediately freeze and can’t think properly. Because what if someone else hears them and they argue? What if they start to yell? What if one of them blames me for something that I haven’t done? Or what if it leads to a chaos? The moment I hear other teachers gossiping, I just leave the room but that anxiety stays with me until the end of the week. I’ve never had any problems during my previous years of working that can be the root of my anxious thoughts before, but I just can’t stop thinking about it. They all seem so carefree and indifferent about what we need to do or complete, and even about their classrooms and students. I spend a lot of time with my students and they regularly complain about some teachers being especially mean to them, degrading their work, etc. Whenever I tried to talk to those teachers the interaction was as bad as it could be, they just kept saying that I’m overreacting and reading into it way too much and I shouldn’t be thinking so much about stuff like that. One time, a teacher even said that they’re kids and they regularly lie about stuff like this—and even though students do lie at some point, I feel like some situations are as clear as day. I just can’t stop thinking about their general attitude and the way they impact my mentality, and I can’t stop thinking about it either—sitting in that teacher’s lounge has become insufferable for me, and I have no idea about why I just can’t stop giving a damn about this? Like, this is their own work ethics, but I fear chaos and negative tension so much that it affects me really bad and decreases my performance greatly. Is there a way to stop this? I mean, am I in the wrong for thinking about these too much?