I (F25) have been with my boyfriend (M27) since summer last year. For context, I have bad anxiety and struggle with trust and self esteem issues, and so I often ask for reassurance. My boyfriend doesn’t really understand my issues, and finds it tiring to constantly answer me when I ask if he’s okay, and if we’re okay.
To be fair, I haven’t properly spoken to him about my anxiety yet and how is best supporting it.
I just feel like a burden and struggle to go to him if I need support. When the issue is to do with him he takes things so personally and shuts down.
I told him today that I wanted to help him understand my anxiety if he wanted to help, and he says that if I thought he didn’t want to help then there’s an issue there. But the problem is he hasn’t exactly been the most supportive person in the past when I’ve had breakdowns, maybe because he didn’t know what to do.
Things feel a bit fragile because of other things that have happened. He is a very laid back person and isn’t good at making plans, which I told him I wanted to put more effort into. It just doesn’t really seem like he’s as interested in me.
I just don’t know if I’m expecting too much from him?
TL;DR my boyfriend doesn’t understand my anxiety and it feels like he doesn’t put a lot of effort in to help me or our relationship in general.