I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We’re both in our last year of college and we’re both international students (from different countries). We met at a sports club and quickly became close. We started sleeping over at each others 5 or 6 times a week and saw each other every single day (all whiting a month of us getting together). I went from balancing my time for my studies, friends, sports etc to suddenly giving him all my time. I tried explaining that I am someone who needs to spend time alone but he did not understand that.
During the entire relationship he has been insecure about himself and tends to get in his head, this is why he constantly asked for reassurance for everything he did. Whenever I’d ask to sleep by myself he would say things like I’ve been having a bad day and was looking forward to this etc. Sometimes we would just show up at 1am and I did not make him leave because I didn’t want him going back home so late. When we’ve been apart during spring or summer break he’s been quite clingy wanting to talk all throughout the day, and explaining how if we don’t do that he feels anxious.
When I explicitly asked for more space and alone time, he only let me have a morning or an afternoon off, then he would just show up at my house. This is why I feel like he’s been in control of time for our entire relationship.
Whenever I’d ask for him to not pick me up after class of from the airport he still did so. I feel like I have no space for myself, and hanging out with him has become like a task that I must do in order to make him feel good, rather than because I feel like it.
I’m not sure about what to do because besides this he is a good person who is loyal and genuinely cares for me. But all of this has taken a toll on me and I cannot keep on going this way. I have started falling out of love and becoming stressed because of the situation. I no longer feel like kissing him or doing anything else with him.
I’m not sure about what to do, I plan to confront him about it next week and addressing the situation more directly.
Would it be better to just break up or is taking a break a potential solution to this problem?
TLDR: Should I break up with my boyfriend over him not respecting my time boundaries or is taking a break a realistic solution?