Why do you think a person can be one of the kindest, most compassionate of people, yet still be a bad romantic partner?

16 comments

1. It takes a lot more than kindness and compassion to be a good partner

2. cause romance sometimes is an idea of what one expects from their partners, and hardly communicated so harder for the other person to judge and figure out.

3. Absolutely.

   Kind and compassionate don’t make someone care, or show that care in ways you can understand. It doesn’t negate selfishness. It doesn’t negate poor priority management. Being kind and compassionate doesn’t mean the person has the emotional bandwidth to be a good partner.

   Being kind and compassionate is no more an indicator of a good partner than humour and sarcasm are.

4. Lack of communication and emotional intelligence.

5. Hmm well speaking from some experience here, I’m a huge commitment-phobe and am pretty insecure/low on self esteem. You can extend your love outward very easily but accepting it for yourself and letting someone in can be very scary.

6. sex. they are more interested and fasinted with sexual fantasized porn and etc. there not really all that into romantic stuff or there not really good at falling in love because all that love is to them is sex . also is that there hella weird and extremely careless and selfish when it comes to what they want but they are never mean about it so u let it slide…. totally not speaking from exspirenece… ( it only lasted a few weeks)

7. Sometimes kindness and compassion is not what you need. Sometimes you need your partner to put you in your place, or a kick in the butt to get you up and running again.

   If they can’t give you the hard truth every now and then, your partner is useless imo

8. Obsessive compulsive personality disorder, for one, causes people to do everything they can to look good to everyone besides their partner… so they look mostly like the best most caring people in every way except the fact that they are biting your throat and drinking your blood.

9. Because romance is not that simple.

10. Kind doesn’t always mean compatible. Relationships sometimes require harshness, endurance, and listening. Being kind doesn’t guarantee a partner.

11. i feel you. yes there are people like this. kindness and romance are not the same. it is really frustrating to live with such a person

12. Our lifestyles and relationship styles were incompatible. We didn’t share enough common interests and our senses of humor didn’t align. Good person, but I didn’t enjoy his company. There are plenty of good people who I find more fun and interesting to be around.

13. I mean, children and dogs are kind and compassionate, but they make bad romantic partners.

14. Insecurity about themselves or what they want, maybe not knowing how to save like they feel or poor experience at this. The list is long

15. honestly, i think that people with neurological differences like autism/adhd etc, can be the kindest and most caring people ever, but still be terrible in romantic relationships. not because they dont love or care enough, but because they have a totally different way of thinking/functioning than a neurotypical person. thats not to say that it is impossible for them to date or have healthy longterm relationships, i just think it requires more effort from both parties for it to work.

16. Oh, I’ve seen plenty of this in relationships.

    – Spending your time with other people/carrying them. “Harry was lonely, so I asked him to join our date night”.

    – The opposite of the always inviting is the always leaving: “Harry asked me to mow his lawn, and then I will help Andy pick up blablabla, see you at 11pm.”

    – Loving to flirt. Loving to connect with everyone on a deep level. I would not like my man to spend his nights out talking to girls holding their hand and hugging them as his main activity.