To be more clear, this guy i’ve been talking to since october has been getting upset with me, mainly because im more the quiet type, I am in my head a lot of times and I can go hours in silence without notice or be bothered by it, he is the completely opposite and needs “ stimulation “ as he puts it, it started when we went to the movies last night, we had some decent convo about the movie and then came back, we went to get food and we didn’t make convo on the way home from then,
Idk if my brain is just poop or what but i genuinely just don’t have anything to talk about really, but when he says something i can go off of that real easy, we ate and i fell asleep, today woke up not feeling good so that added on to me not wanting to talk and the fact it’s the morning, he’s clearly upset says he’s fine though and then eventually he says that he doesn’t like silence and it bothers him etc, I say i’m sorry and that i can try to speak more and then i ended up leaving cause he was heading out too, sent him a long message when i got back that was more in depth and he also did the same said he gets anxiety in silence and that he feels disconnected from me and that im distant & that he’s the only one pursuing a genuine connection. I reassure him , expressed how i felt and that i will be putting in more effort, he says that I should enjoy my silence on my own time.
fast forward i’m doing just that and I planned on going to see him, turns out i gotta wake up early so I texted him nvm basically and he called me, asked why i didn’t call and i said idk and that was about it ( it’s almost 11pm at this time ) Im laying in bed u can visibly see i’m tired & i’m scrolling through insta and ive said some little comments here and there but he hasn’t said much , time goes by then he finally says “ your funny ngl” he’s laughing but obv he’s not tickled he’s upset & he says he was quiet on purpose for 20 mins as an experiment basically and i ain’t said nothing and then said “ ima talk to you tomorrow ngl” and hung up mid sentence basically , not giving
me to time to respond.
so now i don’t even know what to say if i should try to call him or just wait til tomorrow , Im starting to question if our personalities can work with each other , sorry for the long explanation, any advice helps 🙏
TLDR; Guy i’m talking to gets upset because he pulled a little experiment to see if i’d speak otp and i didn’t for 20 mins ( laying in bed abt to gts) and he gets mad hangs up says he will speak to me tomorrow.
3 comments
Sounds like that’s a big HIM problem that he can’t stand silence or whatever bs he’s giving you. That’s already setting off alarm bells in my head that he’s controlling. I’d cut him loose. You shouldn’t have to change anything about yourself to make someone else happy. At least not when you’re just starting out dating and haven’t been together for years.
Sorry to bring the news, but this relationship may be doomed. Guys usually want their gf to behave like a friend in the first place. And looks like he and his other friends talk about stuff a lot. Men want support the most from their counterpart, in a conversation as well.
Another things is that he behaves childish by pulling those experiments on you. He probably wants you to change. But why would you change if it won’t be you?
It’s not healthy to change who you are for someone else.