28F 34M 2-NB bf talked to other women secretly
Bf spoke behind my back to two other women he met on the dating app we met on. He went on a couple of dates with both and one of them he just continued to message for a year after. The other he spent time with after these dates – they did at least 4 big hikes together which he planned and drove them several hours to get to the walls, he took her to an escape room along with his friends that are a couple and she apparently got him through the pandemic. They met soon after his breakup from an ex. So this was all prior to us meeting. But once we met I specifically asked about his dating history since I’d previously been cheated on so wanted to have transparency and he never mentioned these two friends he met through dating until a year into the relationship when I asked who the person was who popped up on his phone. The whole year she’s been sending lengthy messages sometimes late at night and with pictures of just herself on holiday etc. I found it quite inappropriate and weird as I had heard about his other female friends but he kept these two a secret. It’s the latter one that he seemed to have formed a deeper emotional intimacy with. I got the impression that he fancies her still and she enjoyed the attention and he was indulging in emotional cheating and this is why he kept it a secret from me. He later used the excuse that because I was previously cheated on he was waiting for the right moment to introduce us but it still feels off. He also directly lied about her as she recommended he go on holiday to a particular destination and she let him stay in her holiday apartment – when I asked how he knew this friend he said it was someone from work. It came to light that it was in fact the friend he met on the dating app. He also had been reluctant to go on a hike with me throughout the first year and I asked several times. Now he says I have to plan it all even though he has told me he planned it for her when they went. How should I approach this situation?
TL;DR! 28F 34M 2NB – bf messaged women friends he previously dated secretly for the first year of relationship – how should I approach the situation?