So my ex [20M] and I [20F] got back together a while ago after after almost a year of our breakup. We remained friends throughout.
Now the thing is, he kind of admitted to me that he doesn’t know how to identify emotional feelings and doesn’t really know what love is. He did tell me that he’s extremely attracted to me though.
Since we got back together, everything has been so sexual. Since we are in sort of a long distance situation (we meet every 2 weeks or so) we sext almost all the time. Please note that we haven’t engaged in any sexual activity in real (besides making out) and I don’t plan on doing it before marriage since we’re both from a religious background.
I just wanted to ask if there’s some way I can connect with him on an emotional level? We have been together for a total of almost 3 years now. He was quite expressive and claimed that he loved me before, but some things happened in his life that changed his personality. He literally suppresses even the tiniest bit of emotions and I really want to help him find a right balance. I feel like I won’t be able to invest as much in the relationship knowing that he doesn’t even love me.
Please offer some advice that can lead to him developing genuine feelings for me.
TLDR;
My boyfriend is only sexually attracted to me. How can I connect with him on a deeper level?
2 comments
First of all, he needs a therapist if his first reaction to emotion is to stuff it into the deep down. You can’t fix that for him.
And I won’t lie, I’m not sure you *can* emotionally connect to someone who just doesn’t want to feel. The way *regular* folks do it is by conversations and experiences together. Talk about the hard sfuff, the stuff that scares you, the future you want. Do stuff together – like road trips and such. Again, not sure if you can connect with someone like him but you can attempt these.
You’ll have to get comfortable with anal, then he’ll be hooked