TW: SA / DV
Therapy talks
When i was a teenager, i physically fought my mom, she would make me so mad and say things like she wasn’t taking me to get my hair done, to work, or any of that nature. There was a. Incident she wasn’t taking me to a hair appointment, we fought, then i act like im having a breathing attack then fall out. My mom gets scared, splashes water on my face and calls 911, they take me out and to the hospital then say i have low sugar and admit me in the ER. My brother shows up and everyone sees me and then we go home . Now fast forward to my marriage, i strangle him and hit his head in the wall, then fall out into an attack and start screaming for my babies. Brandon wants to call for help , mom says no, i start being suicidal then try to leave. They both won’t let me go, whole time this is in front of Milah . They tell me to go in the room, then i ask to go on a walk, they say no, then Brandon says I’m not leaving and the only place i go is the psych ward. Some how mom lets me go . We are on a walk and he tells me I’m the probledm. During this walk he tells me I’m the problem, I’m a shitty mom, all our relationship problems and trust problems are because of me, i mention how trust is due to him cheating w his ex he then tells me to get over it it’s something we already work through. Then i say if im the problem let me go and walk into on coming traffic he stops me then we talk about his female co worker i find out he’s having an emotional affair with. I ask him to let me read the messages between them he refuses. I pass out and then we go back home. I left him and he decides to go be with the co worker . We have 2 small kids 3 & 1 . There was also an incident where our at the time 2 yr old daughter came to me and told me her dad had been touching her peepee. This altercation occurred after that incident while i was struggling with severe PPD/PPA . I was also taking a medication that was meth in a pill form the time of the argument.