Hello,
First time posters.
I experience often rude behavior from shop clerks, doctors, baristas and in general when I have to engage with somebody asking for something.
I’m 34F officially diagnosed with adhd.
I always try to be as polite as possible because being rude makes me unable to sleep at night and I cannot handle angry people, so I don’t know what i’m doing wrong (I mean, if it keeps happening, it must be me).
In general i do not command respect at all.
I can give some examples:
– i was ordering food and asked if it was possible to remove cheese. The reply was: i will put double cheese just because of you, very angry
– i was ordering food at a different place. I asked “can i have a donut?” Reply: no. (Donut was in my clear view, but I was shy, so I asked for something else and stull got a no as a reply, until he made me order what he wanted)
– i book a doctor appointment for 12 am Normally with appointments in my country you wait in front of the door and the doctor call you. I wait and around 11:54 i hear the doctor secretary “well this lady *my name* was supposed to be here, don’t know where she is”
I go and make my presence known, they tell me to go knock on the door.
I do just that, doctor lets me in.
She is on the phone, I gesture “can I sit?” She points to the chair with angry eyes, I sit.
She finishes the call, I apologize for knocking and explain. She stop me and asks for a previous exam result for something else, I apologize for forgetting it at home, I get a lecture about “you cannot do what you want, you have to bring me test results”. She made me feel like a misbehaving kid.
I feel very hurt when people are angry at me. I have a very angry father and a controlling overprotective mother, so i was tolerated only on the best possible behaviour. I cannot be angry even by myself or i was getting parents angry at me for being angry.
As a result, I have the presence of wall flower.
What can I do to improve this?
Thank you very much 🙂